Random Conversations with Naruto and Crew
by tomboy14
Summary: The daily life problems of us all are such a pain! Join me and the Naruto crew as we set out to make you laugh and forget those problems! It will contain some OOCness and character and pairing bashing, but if you want some humor, come read this! ShikaIno
1. First Day Back from Break

**AN: Hey, hey readers! lol this is going to be an all humor collection of conversations between me and my favorite anime characters! Beware of serious OOCness and possible character bashing. This time it's for my all-time favorite anime…Naruto! lol no one will review this except to say it sucked. Well, all of you that do write stories will know how much reviews are appreciated, so please do review. You can say "lol" and that's it, but it would be nice if it was more than 3 letters. Well, here is conversation one!**

**

* * *

Classroom **

Teacher: Alright, so for tonight's homework I would like you all to write a 2 page essay on the similarities and differences between ancient Greece and Rome. It is due next class.

Class: groans

Me: (sigh) I bet the ninjas don't have to write this stuff. Right, Naruto?

Naruto: What's an essay?

Me: O.o Idiot! (wacks him over the head)

**Later At My House**

Ino: You got an essay assignment on the first day back? Harsh.

Me: Yeah, what a drag…

Ino: No! Not another one! (runs around hysterically)

Shika: What's that supposed to mean?!

Ino: (still running around)

Me and Shika: O.o (sigh) Troublesome.

Me: Wanna go watch the clouds?

Shika: Whatever.

**2 Hours Later**

Ino: (still running around)

Me: (walks back in room with Shika behind me) We're back!

Me and Shika: (looking at Ino) O.o

Ino: (collapses on ground)

Me: You gonna take care of (points at Ino) that problem.

Shika: (picks Ino up) What a drag.

Me: Bye Shikamaru! See you later!

Shika: (walking out the door still carrying Ino) Troublesome.

**

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AN: Alright, so that is it. I did this while I was listening to a teacher go on and on about the same thing for a half an hour. I just added a little bit more. Well, this may be updated tomorrow. It is more of a humor thing rather than a serious thing. It's all for my fun and your reading pleasure! lol reviews would be helpful. Oh, and this may not contain the same characters every time. I will probably use Shikamaru a lot because he is my favorite character and I am so obsessed with messing with him! lol please review and tell me what you thought. Remember, this is a humor thing! So be kind! Ideas for another conversation are encouraged. Leave it in a review, the PMing isn't working on fanfiction and I can check the reviews from my login. **


	2. Fanfiction Fun!

**AN: I didn't get any reviews…well, I wasn't expecting any. Well, I am actually going to keep doing Shikamaru and Ino. Oh, and I also realized that it is hard to picture this scene because you don't know what I look like! Well, I am not going to tell you what I look like in real life, but for this fic I will look like this! I am gonna go with the Shikamaru look, except more feminine. In the last one I seemed to be like Shikamaru, so that is why I am gonna look similar to him. Alright, so I will have dark brown hair that appears almost black that is in a ponytail that reaches past my shoulders. I have 2 long bangs framing my face. Think Sakura's bangs except dark brown. Okay, so I guess I will have dark chocolate eyes like my Shika-kun (hugs Shika plushie) and I guess my height will be about 5 foot 6, so a little bit shorter than Ino and a fair amount shorter than Shikamaru. Okay, so my Japanese name is Aki, so it is in there. Wow, this is a first updating daily. I will do this until I run out of ideas or requests. Remember, I am taking requests! Leave them in a review! Well, here it is!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto characters. Only this really random plot.**

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The Streets of Konoha

Me: Shika-kun! Ino-chan! Over here! (Waves frantically at them like an idiot)

Shika: Troublesome.

Ino: (whacks Shika) Hey Aki-chan! (All smiles)

Me and Shika: O.o

Ino: What?

Me and Shika: (thinking) Someone is having some serious mood swings…

Ino: (smiling maniacally) You know that I can read your thoughts, right?

Me and Shika: Troublesome.

Ino: If I you weren't my best friend and teammate, Shikamaru, then you wouldn't be here right now. Oh, and if you weren't some strange fanfiction author who is controlling my life, then you wouldn't be here Aki-chan, if that is your real name? (Glares)

Me: Shika-kun, I feel so sorry that you have to deal with this every day. So troublesome.

Shika: Got that right.

Ino: Hey!

Me: Well, let's get going. We have to do something very important—and very fun for me—now.

  
In My Room Looking at My Laptop 

Me: Alright, I need your opinions.

Ino: On what?

Me: On my fanfiction!

Ino and Shika: Oh, shit. (Start to run out the door)

Me: (grabs them by the back of their shirts and force them to sit down) Oh, don't worry! You don't have to do anything. Just give me suggestions. (says casually) Like about what you want to do, who you want to beat up, how you wanna make out with each other and how far you go—

Ino and Shika: What!? (blushing)

Me: What about it? Don't you want to beat up bad guys?

Ino: No! Not that! The last thing!

Me: What, about how far you are going to go? Oh, that is why I wanted your opinions. I wasn't sure if you guys were comfortable with a lemon. That's alright, though, I'll just do some lime...bordering on lemon…

Shika: What the hell is going on in that head of yours?!

Ino: Pervert!

Me: Oh, you know that you wanna. (Laughs at their red faces)

Ino: I have no idea what you are talking about! (Says too quickly)

Me: (knowing smirk)

Shika: Why would you even think of pairing me with that troublesome woman?!

Me: Shika-kun, I know what goes on in that head of yours. That sick, perverted head of yours…

Ino: Nara… (Threatens menacingly)

Me: Like you're any better, Ino-chan. You both are a bunch of perverts. God, I was having a field day reading your thoughts last summer at the beach.

Ino and Shika: (10 times redder than Hinata around Naruto…if that's possible)

Me: Well, guys, I think that is enough torture for today. I will let you two go home. Now don't do anything I wouldn't make you do! Wait…make sure you get some protection!

Ino and Shika: Ah! (Run out the door and the sound of their house doors slamming shut is heard seconds later. Note that we are in two different dimensions)

Me: That was too easy…

**

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AN: Alright! What will my genius mind think up next? Oh, and note that these are not continuing each other. They are just there, in separate times. Whatever! You get the point! Well, please review and send in some ideas! I know that some people are reading and not reviewing! Just say what characters you want to include (Ino or Shika must be one of the characters) and if you want to be a part of it. Oh, and leave a small sentence for the topic. Like for this one it would be: Aki embarrassing Shika and Ino about what will go on next in her next fanfiction. Well, thanks for reading!**


	3. Man Whore!

**AN: Wah! I am so sorry that I didn't update Friday. I was so busy it was unbelievable. So, once I get home from school/work (you don't know how old I am so just pick) I had this stupid soccer practice thing at 5:30, which I was late to and arrived at 5:45, and it was also a late Christmas party for my team, so I didn't get home until 9. Alright, so I told some of you I would definitely update Saturday, which I didn't and am sorry for also! I am so bad! Well, I didn't wake up until after noon because I was off that day. So, go to church on Saturdays, usually for 6 pm mass, but today my little brother had a soccer game at 7 pm, so I went to church at 4 pm. I also had to get a shower, eat, and baby sit my brother, so I didn't have time to get on. Alright, so once I got home from church I had to set the tape for Naruto. My bro is into it too, but not as hardcore as me. lol So the place where he plays at is like a half an hour away from my house and we had to be there a half an hour early, so we had to basically hurry up and change and rush down there. Alright, I am done complaining now. I will give you another chapter later today for making you read this long author's note and making you all wait on this chapter! Well, here it is!**

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to my 3 reviewers: SarcasticallyTroublesomeGirl, Kunai1415, and my first reviewer punkrocker22! You all rock!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Well, my life sucks…**

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**My Room**

Me: (reading) –gasps- Shikamaru! Get your ass in here! Now!

Shika: (runs in here) What's wrong? Did someone attack you? Enemy ninja?

Me: No! Come here and look at this. I am so ashamed of you!

Shika: Troublesome I ran in here and nothing is wrong. –sigh- this is such a drag. (turns to leave)

Me: Oh no you don't! Don't make me get Ino in here!

Shika: (bolts back to my side) What do you want?

Me: O.o Anyways, look at how many fanfictions you have!

Shika: Wow. I sure am popular. So, what's the big deal?

Me: Look at the pairings!

Shika: WTF? Triangles? Gay? A bisexual threesome?!

Me: You man-whore. I am ashamed of you. To think you were my favorite character. Tsk-tsk.

Shika: But I'm not! This is _fan_fiction. Obviously there are some twisted people out there. So troublesome, my reputation is ruined. I've never been so depressed since the chunin exams.

Me: Well, they must have something to go on. Hey, some of these so kinda make sense. Look at this one. ShikaCho. You both have been best friends forever. I guess that could change. Same with the Team 10 bisexual threesome. Although they kinda scare me sometimes…

Shika: Bisexual. Team 10. OMFG what the hell is wrong with these people!

Me: Alright, you do seem to have quite a few yaoi fics. Hmmm, NejiShika and ShikaNaru. Wow, I never knew you swung that way, Shika…

Shika: Yaoi? What the hell is that? Wait, do I even want to know?

Me: How do you not know what yaoi is? And they call you a genius! It is basically male-male relationships.

Shika: O.o No Fckin way! I knew I didn't want to know…

Me: Well, you do have a fair amount of het fics.

Shika?

Me: Het is male-female relationships. Like heterosexual.

Shika: Oh.

Me: Yeah. Let's see. We got ShikaSaku, ShikaTema, ShikaHina. Oh, and my favorite ShikaIno!

Shika: Shika…Hina?

Me: Yeah, you and Hinata! Don't know why Hinata would like a lazy ass like you though. I thought only Ino could put up with you.

Shika: Okay, I understand ShikaIno but the others, especially Sakura (cringes in fear)

Me: Yeah. So…the million dollar question is: Are you gay?

Shika: Hell no!

Me: Well, are you bisexual?

Shika: What the hell is wrong with you?! I like girls! I am straight! Got it?!

Me: Whew, okay, so who do you prefer out of the other girls listed above?

Shika: (blushes) Well…I…its…

Ino: (walks in room) Hey Aki-chan! Shika-kun!

Me: Hey Ino-chan!

Ino: Whatcha doing?

Me: Oh, Shikamaru and I were having a very important discussion. He is gonna tell me who he likes!

Ino: Really? Come on, Shika! I have been dying to know for a while! Tell me!

Shika: (blushing even more) Ummm, I gotta go! See you later Aki! (runs out the door)

Ino and Me: Dammit!

Me: Well, I guess we will have to wait a little longer. He was gonna tell me until you came in!

Ino: Sorry, but I wanted to know what you and Shikamaru were doing and if you wanted to come get barbeque with Chouji. He really wants to meet you, probably so he can get his own fic.

Me: Oh. So, so you wanna go get Shikamaru then?

Ino: Nah. He was just gonna sit there and stare at the clouds anyway. So, you wanna come?

Me: Sure! Lead the way, Ino-chan!

**

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AN: Chap's over. Oh, I bumped the rating up for certain curse words. It's more for safety and possible sexual references later. Who knows where my mind will take me next! Well, please review and leave some ideas for another one! I am running out of them!**


	4. The Play!

**AN: Me again! Here is the other update I promised you! I am done for today after this! Alright, this isn't too long, so here is the next installment of Random Conversations: Naruto Style! There is some very, very mild sexual content in this. It's a grope and some tongue action in a kiss. That is it. No nudity or lemon. If you aren't mature enough to read a grope or tongue action in a kiss, don't read this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Wish I did but I don't own Naruto. Deal with it. **

**

* * *

Ino's House**

Me: -sigh-

Ino: What's wrong?

Me: Well, it's just that I can't seem to find any fluff or citrus fics for my favorite pairing. I mean, there are a ton of very good ones out there that are dramatic, angsty, funny, and all that but sometimes I just want a one-shot that is total and pointless romance!

Ino: I know what you mean. So, who is your favorite pairing? I may be able to write you a fic for it.

Me: Well…ummm...maybe you could get them to act one out? Not a citrus one, but maybe a fluffy one.

Ino: Sure! Why not! I love to match make!

Me: Yay!

Ino: So who is your favorite pairing? Is it still in the Naruto world?

Me: Yeah, its in the Naruto world. It's ShikaIno!

Ino: (blushing) Me? And Shikamaru? No way am I acting that out!

Me: (teary-eyed) But you said you would…

Ino: Fine! Geez, you are such a drag!

Me: I knew you were perfect for Shikamaru!

Ino: (blushing and waving hands in front of her) No! It's just that…ummm…I was on his team and was forced to hang out with him a lot so his vocabulary is rubbing off on me! Yeah! That's it!

Me: (sarcastic) Yeah, sure it is. Shika-kun and Ino-chan sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N—

Shika: (walks in) Hey Ino I thought we were gonna—Aki? What are you doing here?

Me: Shika-kun! Just the person I wanted to see! So, let's get down to business! (ushers him inside room and locks to door)

Shika: (to Ino) What is going on?

Ino: You don't want to know. Trust me; this is going to be _very_ 'Troublesome'

Me: Okay. So you guys are going to be acting!

Shika: Wait, I thought you liked to act, Ino? You said it would be troublesome. Yeah, it's troublesome for me but not for you.

Ino: (blushing) Well, You'll see why in a moment.

Me: Okay, so you will be acting out a very romantic fluff scene with me as the narrator.

Shika: (blushing) Oh.

Ino: (blushing) Yeah.

Shika and Ino: Shit.

Me: Oh stop it! Think of it as a late Christmas present. Besides, neither of you got me anything…(glares) But I still love you! (smiles)

Shika and Ino: O.o

Me: Alright, so here is the script. Study it and I will be back in 10 minutes. Bye!

Ino: Where did you get that script from? OMG did you plan this?!

Me: (innocent face) Now why would you even suggest that? (leaves)

Ino: Why I—

Shika: (restraining Ino) Don't worry. She isn't worth it and she will do something even worse in her next chapter if we don't cooperate!

Ino: (calms down) Fine. I don't even want to know what her mind is capable of creating next…

Ino and Shika: (cringes)

Shika: Okay, let's read over this…

Ino and Shika: (reading) No Fckin way…

**10 Minutes Later**

Me: Alright, you should have a basic idea of your script. Now, don't you dare just read it all. You have to be able to look up and get into this! If you do a good job I will leave the best actor out of the next chapter! (crosses fingers behind back)

Ino and Shika: (oblivious) Deal!

Me: Okay. Let's begin!

**-Strange Set Appears Similar to the Yamanaka Flower Shop-**

Me: In the village of Konoha lived a beautiful kunoichi. Her name was Yamanaka Ino.

-enter Ino-

Ino: -sigh-Oh, why is the world so horrid? (utterly convincing)

Me: You see, our beautiful Ino had a problem. She was in love with her best friend and teammate, Nara Shikamaru.

Ino: Why couldn't I have just stayed liking Sasuke? No, I had to fall for him. Oh, the world is so cruel!

Me: But Ino did not know that Shikamaru felt the same way as her, and was finally going to tell her his feelings.

-enter Shikamaru barging into the flower shop-

Ino: Welcome to the Yama—Shikamaru? What are you doing here?

Shika: Ino, I need to tell you something. (totally convincing and not lazy for once)

Ino: What is it?

-Shikamaru walks over to counter and grabs Ino's hands-

Shika: Yamanaka Ino, I love you.

Ino: -gasps-Oh, Shikamaru, I love you too!

Ino and Shika: (blushing)

-Ino and Shikamaru lean in closer to each other-

Me: And Ino and Shikamaru were about to share their first kiss with each other.

-Ino and Shikamaru kiss-

Me: And then Ino and Shikamaru lived happily ever after! The end!

-set disappears and counter separating Shika and Ino is gone-

Ino and Shika: (Still kissing)

Me: Uh, guys, you can stop now. That was the end of the play.

Ino and Shika: (still kissing; Ino's arms are now around Shika's neck)

Me: Uh, guys.

Ino and Shika: (still kissing; Shika's arms are around Ino's waist)

Me: (sees Shikamaru's tongue) Alright! That is enough! The play is over! I really don't need to be seeing this!

Ino and Shika: (still kissing and Shikamaru is now groping Ino's ass)

Me: Hey! I thought I said this was only going to be fluff! Not citrus! (Ino's hand went under Shika's shirt) Oh my god…What have I done!

Shika: (kissing Ino's neck)

Ino: -moans-

Me: You know, it's a good thing I upped the rating to T to because this is so not K+. Ummm, you do know that I am still right here and it's not polite to DO IT RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME!!! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!!!!!

Ino and Shika: (realize I am there and break apart blushing)

Me: About time you two got off each other. As much as I love your pairing this was starting to creep me out. Geez, if you wanted a lemon then you should have just asked.

Ino: (blushing) I…umm…no…it's… (sighs in defeat)

Shika: (stares at ceiling) It's such a drag to be interrupted.

Me: Shika! I never knew you were such a pervert. Geez, since this is Ino's room, I'll be leaving now. I guess I will talk to you tomorrow. No, you are both gonna be in the next chapter because of your actions (sticks out tongue) Ha-ha! Oh, and when I see you tomorrow I don't want Ino complaining about any cramps she may have.

Ino and Shika: (blushing)

Ino: What is that supposed to mean?!

Me: I think you know. Now, have fun you two and remember that whenever you feel the need to do that again to make sure I am not around to witness it, or anybody else for that matter. That is common courtesy. Plus if Ino's father saw that I think Shika would be dead, regardless of the fact that he is his best friend's only son. Well, later! (leaves room)

Shika: (grabs Ino) Finally! (starts kissing her again)

**

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AN: Alright, so there is my super perverted one! I needed to get that out of the way. lol it's sad that this is my longest one yet! So this is why I changed the rating to T. Ummm, I think that is clean enough for T, right? Well, I have read not very descriptive lemons for the T rating. Well, I hope you liked it! So, the next one may not be up tomorrow. I hope I can get it up, but I may be super busy again. I will try! Please review! I am introducing new characters next time!**


	5. Study Hall and Inner Issues

**AN: Hey faithful readers! lol I said it was going to be hard for me to update today. Well, I figured it would be better to have a short chapter rather than nothing today, so here it is. lol I may update later today again and introduce some new characters. Right now I am sticking with Shikamaru and Ino. Today it will be only Shika. lol I love to do these centered around school. Not that I am necessarily in school, but my little brother, who is still in school, is always complaining, so I put myself school age. Hmmm, I guess my age in this chapter will be about 15. lol I still look like Shikamaru in that description I gave you guys. Well, enough of my ramblings and here is the next installment of Random Conversations: Naruto Style!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. lol But I do own this lame excuse for a funny story. Anyone want to trade?**

**Dedication: To my reviewers on the last 2 chapters! OMG I can't believe I have 10 reviews on this fic! Awesome! They are: Kunai1415, who always reviews my fics, Cursed Dragon, the random, your chapter will come next, okay? I hope to update later today. and finally, the person who went back and reviewed all my chapters and will have a chapter next also, hopefully later today…SMGstring! lol thanks guys! You are awesome! Just had to get this out of the way!**

**

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In Classroom for Study Hall**

Teacher: Quiet!

Me: (Thinking) What a drag. Will these morons just shut the hell up so I can sleep?!

Shika: I know what you mean…

Me: WTF?! How did you get inside my head?!

Shika: I am your Inner, who just happens to be Shikamaru-like. Troublesome woman.

Me: Damn! I've been hanging out with Shikamaru too much! No! I'm turning into a lazy ass! (stands up)

Class: (stares at me) O.o

Me: Umm, was that out loud?

Teacher: Aki, I said before for everyone to be quiet. You know the rules. Now, off to the principal's office.

Me: (mumbles) Damn you, Shikamaru…

**

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AN: I know, terribly short. Don't kill me! lol the next two will be up later today. There were requested ideas/people wanting to be in it. lol please review, even though it was extremely short!**


	6. Bitchy Boss

**AN: Hey guys! I am doing this in school/work and am trying really hard not to get in trouble…grr I am so bored. I finished early and I can't leave! Evil teacher/boss. lol I am going out to eat after this and won't have any time to go home and get ready! I purposefully worked faster and put more effort into it, and I stinking can't leave! Ahh! I am going to scream! Sorry for ranting to you people. lol this was a quick one. It is something I want to do in real life, but will never have the guts to do. All ages: 20s. Oh, and I couldn't come up with a cool Japanese last name, so I took Shikamaru's. lol I am his distant cousin or something…I dunno I just like the name! **

**Disclaimer: Do I have to say it. Fine. I don't own Naruto.**

**Dedication: This is dedicated to the people that reviewed my extremely short chapter last time. They are: punkrocker22 and SMGstring!! SMGstring is also known as my Stalker. He said it, not me. lol This is also dedicated to all of you that feel the pain of evil teachers or bosses!**

* * *

Boss: Get back to work, Nara!

Me: (mumbles) Damn boss. Fuckin ass hole. What a slutty bitch.

Boss: Would you like to speak up? I couldn't quite catch that?

Sasuke: Will you just shut up and leave each other alone. You bickering is interrupting my thoughts of revenge.

Me: No Sasuke, it's about time I did something. (to boss) You really want to know? I called you a fuckin ass hole! And I asked why you are such a slutty bitch!

Sasuke: Stop yelling! I am trying to plot my fuckin revenge!

Me: And you! One, yelling is not going to stop us from yelling! Two, stop being an emo bastard and do your damn work for once! You get away with doing basically nothing 'cuz the whore thinks you're hot! So, I get stuck with twice the work!

Sasuke: (activates Sharingan) It's not proper for guys to beat the shit out of girls

Me: Well then you'll have no problem fighting me! Bring it on, bastard! (punches Sasuke in the face and his cheek swells and is red)

Boss: No! What did you do to his face?!

Sasuke: No! My beautiful face! (cries hysterically and runs away)

Me: (evil smirk and cracks knuckles) Now what were you saying earlier?

Boss: Uh, you get a raise?

Me: That's what I thought you said.

**

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AN: Yeah, short but I thought it was funny. lol Sasuke being OOC is so fun! lol Review please! I hope to update tomorrow! I am trying! Thanks for reading!**


	7. The Library of Love

**AN: OMG so sorry for the long wait! I would like to thanks SMGstring for getting me off my lazy ass (hanging out with Shika too much) and getting me to finish this! lol I am doing it for my self-proclaimed stalker(he prefers Stalker-sama), and my good fried SMGstring! lol he is so awesome because he reviews all my fics. (cries hysterically) I LOVE YOU!!!!! lol so here is your chapter! I hope you like it and don't think I did a horrible job. Okay, so SMGstring is Michael in this. Haru is my 'little brother'. Not his real name, just his Japanese name. Think of him as an annoying 13 year old boy that thinks he is all cool because he is finally a teenager. lol he isn't actually that age, but when I reread this that is what he came up like. Sorta like Naruto except not blonde. He can look like me. I can be 16 in this fic, along with Shika and Ino. Michael and Temari are 19.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. I don't even own the basic plot of this chapter. Man, my life sucks even more than usual.**

**Dedication: This is dedicated to SMGstring for his awesome request. lol You are so awesome I can't even put it into words. lol I really hope you like it! **

* * *

Me: (dials phone number) 

Michael: (over the phone) Hello?

Me: Hey Stalker-sama, what's up?

Michael: Nothing much, Aki, you?

Me: Nah, not much. I was just wondering if you wanted to head over to the Library with Shika-kun and Ino-chan.

Michael: I dunno…

Me: (sly tone) Temari is coming…

Michael: Be there is a minute!

-Doorbell rings-

Me: (hangs up phone) Works every time…

Haru: Aki! Your creepy stalker Michael is here! Ow!

Me: (walks down stairs) Hey Michael! Ino-chan and Shika-kun are at the Flower Shop, and Temari was going to meet us over there.

Michael: Well, let's get going already!

Haru: That guy is obsessed with that sand slut—Ow! Will you stop hitting me?!

Me: You should have known better not to insult Michael's _Temari-chan_. Now, behave yourself while I am gone, you hear? I don't want any complaints. Oh, and I sent a baby-sitter over to watch you.

Haru: (mumbles) Stupid older sister. Thinks she's all that just because she knows all the Naruto characters.

Me: (whacks him over the head) I heard that!

Haru: What is it? National Hit Haru Day?

Me: No, but I seriously should consider that…

-Doorbell rings-

Me: Oh, I guess the baby-sitter is here.

Haru: Please tell me it's not Sakura. That bitch is scary… (cringes in fear)

Me: You'll see… (opens door)

Haru: Nooo!

Me: Say hi, Sasuke!

Sasuke: Hn.

Haru: Why that emo bastard! I hate to say it but I prefer Sakura.

Michael: Isn't she in therapy today for her anger management problems.

Me: Yeah, plus a certain Uchiha owes me. Or let's just say I have a very nice picture…

Sasuke: (flashes Sharingan) You show that picture and you die.

Me: Do we need a repeat of last chapter?

Sasuke: No…

Haru: OMFG you knocked the emo out of Sasuke!

Me: It's cuz your big sis is so awesome.

Michael: Can we go now! Temari-chan is waiting!

Me: Fine. You're a little too eager, you know that?

**-At Flower Shop-**

Me: Ino-chan! Shika-kun! We're here!

**-At the Back of the Shop-**

Ino and Shika: (kissing)

Ino: (gently pushes Shika off her) We'll be out in a 5 minutes!

Shika: Troublesome. I just got started… (starts to kiss her again)

**-Back to Me-**

Me: Hurry it up! Temari-chan is waiting and Michael is getting impatient!

Ino: (adjusts clothing) Fine, geez, I was just finishing up.

Shika: Troublesome woman takes forever.

Ino: Idiot! (whacks him over the head)

Michael: Come on! I wanna see my Temari-chan dammit!

Me, Shika, and Ino: O.o (thinking) He is so whipped…

**-At the entrance to the Library-**

Michael: Temari-chan! I am coming for you! (runs into library)

Me, Shika, and Ino: (sweatdrops)

**-In the Library-**

Temari: Hey Aki, Ino, Shikamaru, and _Michael-kun…_ (bats eyelashes at Michael)

Michael: (completely uneager and cool) Hey Temari-chan.

Me: (thinking) That is so wrong…

Shika and Ino: (thinking) She's worse than me and Ino-chan/Shika-kun.

Me: Alright, so I have to do this report on the life of the ninja, and so that is why I asked you all to come with me. I already reserved the back room so we can talk while we do our research, and we won't be interrupted.

Ino: So what types of books were you looking for?

Me: Well, that's why you all are here. You know the life of the ninja better than anyone else because you all are ninja, except for Stalker-sama over there. I figured that you could help me with my research and say what is most factual, that and I want some quotes from you guys.

Shika: What a drag. You woke me up for this?

Temari: It's 3 in the afternoon!

Librarian: Shhh!

Me: (whispers) Let's head to the back room!

**-In the Back Room-**

-door shuts and clicks closed-

Me: Alright, so since I can't trust you all to come at once with me and not get kicked out of the library, Shika-kun will come with me first, since he probably wants to take a nap after I find some books.

Shika: -sigh- Let's get this over with already. (goes to open door and it won't budge) Uh, guys, I think we have a troublesome problem.

Temari: Let me see that! You are probably not putting enough effort into it!

Ino: Like he ever puts any effort into anything (thinking) except for when we are alone… (smirks)

Temari: (tries door and it won't open)

Michael: Let me try, Temari-chan. You must still be tired from your trip from Suna. (door won't open)

Me: Dammit, guys! You are all so weak! Let me try. (tries) Dammit, this is unfair! And I can't even start my report.

Temari: Why don't we just break it down?

Me: One because I would have to pay for it, which means that you all would owe me. And two, this is a door made for a ninja village, so it won't budge. It is infused with chakra so it won't break, no matter whether you use either ninjutsu or taijutsu on it.

Ino: Shikamaru, you're a genius! Think of something!

Shika: Troublesome, fine. (gets into thinking pose)

-Jeopardy music plays in Background-

Me: Dammit, shut off the speakers Michael! I told you not to bring your iPod!

Ino: Who has the Jeopardy theme song on their iPod?

-1 Minute Later-

Shika: (gets out of position)

Me: Well?

Shika: Well, we have to wait for someone to pass by and then let us get out. Until then…we're stuck…

Me: Dammit! I am never gonna finish my report! I booked this room until they close at 9 tonight!

Ino: I was supposed to meet Sakura at 6! We were going out to eat! Sakura is going to be mad that I stood her up!

Me: Well, we could start the interviews while we wait?

Shika, Ino, and Temari: Alright.

Michael: Why am I here anyway?

Me: Because you are obsessed with the Naruto world and know a lot of valuable information about ninjas, so I decided to bring you along. Plus, it was fun to see you mess with my little brother.

Michael: Oh.

Me: Okay, now just let me get some…paper…

Shika: You didn't bring paper, did you?

Me: (eyes downcast)

Shika: Idiot.

Me: It's your fault! If you wouldn't have been so lazy and said you didn't want to meet at 1, but at 3, then I would have remembered! I had everything packed and ready until you had Ino call and say that it was too early and troublesome to get up, so I put everything away!

Shika: I didn't forget the paper. It's not my fault that genetically I am a lazy-ass.

Michael: Alright, so what do we do?

Temari: How about a game?

-1 ½ hours later-

Ino: (bored tone) Got any threes?

Me: (bored tone) Go Fish.

Michael: Umm, this is boring. Shikamaru even fell asleep.

Ino: He always falls asleep. Where have you been since the Naruto manga appeared?

Me: (shakes Shika) Shika-kuuun., time to wake up.

Shika: (still asleep)

Me: Ino is in a towel.

Shika: (jolts up and looks around) Where?

Temari: I never knew you were such a pervert.

Ino: (thinking) If only they knew how perverted he really could be. (blushes)

Shika: You have a deck of cards, but you don't bring a piece of paper.

Me: (eyes downcast)

Ino: I know! Let's play Truth or Dare!

Me: Ino, in almost all fanfictions the characters play Truth or Dare and then the characters get together. I would like to think I am more original than that!

Ino: Well Sorry! I was just trying to help.

Shika: Yeah, don't get mad at my Ino-chan!

Me, Michael, and Temari: O.o

Ino: Shika-kun… (blushing)

Shika: Did I say that out loud? What a drag.

Temari: Oh, did Nara finally get a girlfriend?

Shika: Troublesome.

Me: Alright, enough making fun of Shika-kun's random outburst. We all know he likes Ino, so there is no point in making fun of him anymore. It's not as fun as it used to be.

Shika: How did you know I like Ino-chan?

Me: Duh, retard, you just said it and it was painfully obvious with the looks you give her all the time. I should be more afraid that she returns the looks and you don't notice…

Michael: Why is it that whenever a group of people are trapped in a room together, romance and awkwardness ensues?

Temari: It's a fact of life.

Me: Okay, so you might as well get together. We really don't care anymore what you do, even if it disturbs us greatly. Just don't have sex in here. I am not explaining to the library people why this place is a mess.

Shika and Ino: What the heck. (start making out)

-20 Minutes later-

Shika and Ino: (still making out)

Me: I really shouldn't have said that earlier.

Temari: Damn, I never knew someone so lazy could do (looks at Shika) that. That is pretty sexy.

Michael: You think Shikamaru is sexy?

Temari: Not as sexy as you.

Me: O.o

Michael: Really?

Temari: Shit did I say that out loud. Oh well. Come here! (grabs Michael by collar and forcibly kisses him)

Me: What the hell have I done?

-8:45 PM-

Everyone but me: Making out with their respective others.

Me: Damn, I really need a hot anime boyfriend. I feel so unloved. –sigh- They so owe me.

Shika and Ino: (Roll on the floor)

Me: What did I say about no sex?! I thought you two just got together a few hours ago.

Ino: (breaks for air) No –gasp- We have been together for a while. We just never told anyone.

Me: Well that figures. But what about them? Well, they are older…-sigh-nobody better get pregnant.

-9:00 Sharp-

Librarian comes in

Librarian: What the heck is going on in here?

Me: -sigh- Do you really want to know?

Librarian: No. Now, tell your friends to get up before I lock you in here for the night.

Me: Hey perverts! Stop making out or almost getting kinky and leave already!

Librarian: You know that this is still a library.

Me: Yeah, but they wouldn't hear me over the moans and kissing noises.

Librarian: I'm getting the hell out of here. And telling my boss about this tomorrow.

Me: (walks over to Michael's book bag and grabs a $20 bill) How about we forget this never happened?

Librarian: Deal. (takes Stalker-sama's $20)

**

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AN: Wow…that was perverted and random. Well, Stalker-sama I hoped you liked it. You and Temari almost got kinky, so I think you had a nice day. lol sorry bout the $20 bucks man, but I was afraid to get my ass whooped by the ninjas. Hehehe umm, review please! And thanks for reading!**


	8. YOU TOLD MY DAUGHTER WHAT?

**AN: This is a short drabble for this so I am not going to do any dedications or anything. I just wanted to give you something because I am still writing the random's conversation. lol so I will include dedications for both last chap and this chap next chap. lol here's the short drabble Haru is still my lil bro.**

**Disclaimer: don't own nothing…**

**Ages:  
Me: 27  
Aiko: 3  
Haru: 24  
Sasuke: 27  
Ino: 27  
Shikamaru: 27  
Shiori: 8  
Shotsu: 11  
Michael: 29  
Temari: 29  
Twins: 5  
Naruto: 27**

**

* * *

-Konoha Streets- **

Me: Yatta! Today is the Graduation Day for Academy Students! Shika-kun and Ino-chan's daughter is already graduating! I can't believe it! (shifts bundle in arms)

Michael: Hey Aki-chan! You heading to the Graduation Ceremony?

Me: Yeah. Oh, isn't your son Shotsu graduating?

Michael: Yeah, Temari left work early to head over, so I am meeting her there.

Me: So where are the twins?

Michael: With…oh shit…

Me: Let me guess, you forgot to call a babysitter.

Michael: Worse. Temari called Haru and Sasuke to baby-sit them.

Me: NOOO!!!!!

Ino: Watcha yelling about?

Me: Ah! Ino you scared me! Sasuke is babysitting the twins!

Ino: NOOO!!!!!

Shika: Will you all shut up! Your screaming is giving me a troublesome head ache.

Me: Come on, you've lived with Ino for 10 years, aren't you used to yelling by now?

Shika: True, but even Ino isn't that loud, except in—

Ino: Hey! I am not that loud! Well, maybe a little bit during—

Me: Not in front of the baby! Aiko, just ignore Ino-neesan.

Aiko: (in cute baby voice) Mommy, when does Ino-neesan yell really loud? Shika-neesan never finished his sentence.

Michael: Your kid is 3 and speaks in complete sentences? What the hell are you feeding that child?

Me: Aiko inherited her smarts from her mommy, who had an IQ of over 130 by the time she was 14. (the IQ thing is true!) Aiko is my little genius -tickles Aiko-

Shika: That isn't that impressive.

Me: Shut up, smart ass!

Ino: You just cursed in front of your child?

Me: So? It's not like you haven't cursed in front of your children. Atleast I haven't dropped the F bomb.

Ino: -blushes-

Aiko: Mommy, I want to know when Ino-neesan yells really loud!

Me: I'll tell you when you're older.

Aiko: Mommy, I am older NOW! It's been a few seconds!

Naruto: A few seconds? It's only been (counts on fingers) 72! (really been 30)

Michael: I still can't get over the fact that a 3 year old is smarter than Naruto!

Shika: That isn't a new concept.

Me: Can we just go to the Academy and watch the kids graduate! God, you are making me late to see Shiori! I haven't seen her in so long and I like to talk to her about strategies and play Go with her.

Shika: You don't play Go with me, but you play with my daughter?

Me: Yes because you would kick my ass and plus I am the only one that will let her win. She is pretty good though, just not better than me. I am the female Go champion after all (brags about accomplishments)

Ino: You know, Aki-chan, you got really off topic here. Well, let's get to the Academy already!

**-At Academy-**

Temari: Michael-kun!

Michael: Temari-chan! (runs to wife and start making out)

Me: There are children in here! (covers Aiko's eyes)

Aiko: Why are you covering my eyes? Are they having sex?

Silence

Me: How do you know what sex is?

Aiko: Naruto-neesan told me.

Everyone looks at Naruto

Me: **NARUTO HOW COULD YOU TELL MY 3 YEAR OLD CHILD WHAT SEX IS!?! YOU PERVERT!!!!!!!!** (beats Naruto to a bloody pulp)

Naruto: Technically she was 2 and a half when I told her Hehehe.

Me: Naruto, I am gonna make sure you never reproduce again!

Naruto: No! Not Mr. Bun Buns!

Silence

Michael: (stops making out) WTF?!

Ino: Is this craziness ever going to end?

Shiori: Mom, I have no clue. –sigh- what a drag

Everyone except Naruto and Me: -watching Aki throw Naruto across the room and through a window- You got that right.

**

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AN: Wow, that was random but fun. lol review! I had such a good time writing this one! lol Aiko, Shotsu, and Shiori are my OCs and figments of my imagination. They don't exist.**


	9. Sasuke Babysitting Haru Revealed

**AN: Alright, another quick one. I am having writer's block again, so this is supposed to help me. Small side to what happens when I have Sasuke baby-sit Haru. Oh, slight influence from LunarRose83 Ages: Haru-13, Me-17, Sasuke-16**

**Disclaimer: No. Own. Deal with it.**

* * *

Me: Haru!!!!! Get your ass in here pronto! 

Haru: -exasperated tone- What did I do now?

Me: Go look at who is at the door.

Haru: -opens door- Sasuke? What the hell?

Sasuke: Don't be surprised. I need him to baby-sit you while I go out for a while.

Haru: And where are you going?

Me: I HAVE A DATE!!!!

Haru: No. Frickin. Way. Who in the hell would want to date you?

Sasuke: That's what said when she called me.

Me: Do I need to remind you of 'Bitchy Boss'? Let's just say my friend LunarRose _found_ me a hot jounin.

Haru: Whatever. Just leave.

Me: Well aren't you nice. Whatever. I'm leaving. Now, don't torture Sasuke! –leaves and slams door shut behind her-

Haru: So, whatcha wanna do this time, emo bastard?

Sasuke: Hn. (thinking) must resist.

Haru: -leans in- Well?

Sasuke: DAMMIT!!!

Haru: What _is_ your problem?

Sasuke: -mumbles-

Haru: What was that?

Sasuke: -mumbles-

Haru: Speak up, King of Emodom.

Sasuke: -shouting- I said that I want Naruto! Now!

Haru: O.o -twitches uncontrollably-

Sasuke: …

Haru: No. Frickin. Way. I never thought, well, actually Aki suggested that you might…

Sasuke: …

Haru: Well, instead of calling you an Emo Bastard I can call you a Gay Emo Bastard!

Sasuke: You say that and you die.

Haru: You threaten me and I tell Aki to get Ino on you.

Sasuke: -cringes-

Haru: YATTA! I BROKE HIS EMO!!!

Sasuke: You act like Naruto. –sigh- Naruto...

Haru: O.o I am never going to get used to this.

Sasuke: Hn.

Haru: Yeah, so I am gonna go play my PSP. You can watch T.V. or whatever.

-15 minutes later-

Ding-Dong

Haru: Nose goes! –places finger on nose-

Sasuke: Well that explains why Aki hired me. –gets door-

Naruto: SASUKE!!! –glomps Sasuke-

Haru: -looks up from PSP- I am too young for Yaoi!!! No!!!

-3 hours later-

Me: -opens door- I'm home! Hey, where's Sasuke.

Haru: He left with Naruto.

Me: Did they get a mission?

Haru: No.

Me: Then why…

Haru: You don't want to know.

Me: -think for a second then lightbulb appears above head- Oh.

Haru: Now I officially understand the Horrors of Yaoi.

Me: Wait, I thought it was the Horrors of a Fan Club? (plug-plug)

Haru: Wrong fic. Well, I think I am scarred for life.

Me: Well, you had to learn somehow. Anyways, GOODNIGHT! Don't let the Gay Men bite in your dreams!

Haru: I hate you.

**

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AN: Um, yeah, so that is it. lol REVIEW PLEASE! Maybe it will kill my writer's block. Don't be afraid to murder it. That is legal, and I will cover for you if it isn't in your country XD**


	10. Valentine's Day Special!

**AN: Not much to say, no dedications. I will dedicate the next real chapter to everyone that has reviewed this fic. lol ages are 17. oh, and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! This is my Valentine's Day special.**

**Disclaimer: You know the deal. I don't own Naruto.**

**Warning: Hints of a lemon, but nothing is described. It just goes to a regular kiss, then stops. This is a T fic, not an M fic. **

**

* * *

At Cloud Watching Hill**

Me:-sigh- Why can I never get a hot boyfriend. Looks like I'm celebrating Valentine's Day alone for the 17th year in a row. Woohoo. I set the pathetic record! –sarcasm-

Shika: -sigh- Valentine's Day, what a drag.

Me: Shika? What are you doing here?

Shika: What do you think? I'm watching the clouds.

Me: No shit. I'm not an idiot like Naruto. What I meant was why aren't you celebrating with Ino.

Shika: -blushing- Well, that's why I'm here. We –ahem- have plans for later.

Me: -blushing- Oh. My. God.

Shika: -still blushing- Yeah, um, Aki-chan, do you think you could not tell—

Me: -screaming- OMFG SHIKA-KUN IS GONNA LOSE HIS VIRGINITY!!!!!

Shika: -blushing- Troublesome woman, will you SHUT UP!!! Do you want the world to know about my secret personal life?!

Me: Yes. Now, it's advice time. Well, since I am like a sister to you I will warn you of the does and don't of making love.

Shika: I thought that you were a virgin, let alone never gone out.

Me: -blushing- That is true, but I have read plenty of ShikaIno lemons…

Shika: O.o Pervert.

Me: Whatever. Anyways, you better not get Ino pregnant, unless you are ready to explain to Inoichi why he is already a grandfather, not to mention countless hours of torture from all your friends, parents –heh, telling your Dad would be fun- oh, and don't forget me and Haru!

Shika: I took care of that already.

Me: Good, now make sure you don't force her to do anything. Ask her permission, and when she says yes, go all out on her. Right before you do it, make sure ask her again. Oh, and you have to tell her you love her countless times that evening.

Shika: -taking notes- Got it. Man, I didn't realize sex was going to be this much work.

Me: I'm not done yet! Anyways, where was I? Oh, yeah, make sure you tell her she is beautiful, not 'hot' or 'sexy.'

Shika: Why not?

Me: Because you don't want her to think you are only doing this because she has sex appeal, and only to fulfill your lust for her! You need to show her it is out of love, L-O-V-E!!!

Shika: Oh.

Me: Now, do you really love Ino, and are willing to give up anything to be with her?

Shika: -slight blush- I don't care how troublesome she is, or any of this planning is. I love Ino.

Me: Good. Now, make sure you don't wear _that_!

Shika: What's wrong with what I'm wearing? –points to fishnet-

Me: -slaps forehead- We got a lot of work ahead of us. –drags Shika off field and to his house-

**At Shika's Apartment **

Me: -throws a pile of clothes on bed- Ok, let's see…

Shika: Oh shit.

Me: Here! Try this on! –hands him random clothes-

Shika: Help Me! –walks to bathroom-

5 Minutes Later

Shika: -walks out in a dark blue button-down shirt, black pants, dress shoes, and hair down-

Me: Oh. My. God. –girlish squeal- Shika-kun! You look AMAZING!! I swear if you weren't a brotherly figure to me I would rape you right now!

Shika: O.o –scoots away-

Me: -blushing and rubs back of neck- Sorry, Shika-neesan. Fan Girl moment.

Shika: Um, yeah, so do I really look good? Do you think Ino will like it?

Me: Yeah –looks at Shika- Just one adjustment. –walks over and unbuttons a few of his shirt- There, now Ino will never be able to resist you!

Shika: So…um…thanks you?

Me: Your welcome. Now, remember, do what I said and you will definitely get laid not only tonight, but many nights in the future!

Shika: -blushing- Yeah, well, Ino-chan is waiting…BYE!! -runs out door-

Me: I am such a good person.

**

* * *

AN: Well, that is it, but I made a bonus for you with some help from Flaming Beauty…here it is!**

* * *

Shika: -walks into Ino's apartment- Ino-chan?

-clanking noise-

Shika: -steps on something- What? –stepped on Hershey kiss-

-Clanking noise stops-

Shika: -picks up note and reads it out loud- 'I kiss the ground you walk on.' –smirks and follows trail of kisses and flower petals to bed-

-Door Opens-

Ino: -gasps at what Shika is wearing, recovers then in a seductive voice- Shika-kun. (she is wearing a short baby-blue sleeveless dress that has a slight V that reveals a little bit of cleavage. Tight up top and floaty at the bottom)

Shika: -looks up, gasps, then smirks at what Ino is wearing- Ino-chan. –equally seductive voice-

Ino: -picks up kiss- You know, I would rather kiss you. –leans close to his face, then pops an unwrapped kiss in his mouth.

Shika: -swallows kiss- So would I. –kisses Ino passionately-

Ino: -moans- I love you, Shika-kun. –starts to unbutton his shirt-

Shika: I love you, too, Ino-chan. (thinking) Screw Aki's advice!

**CENSORED**

Ino and Shika: -tangled in bed sheets-

Ino: -cuddles closer to Shika- I was wondering something.

Shika: -wraps arms around her waist- Hmm?

Ino: Who picked out your clothes?

Shika: You caught me. Aki did.

Ino: -yawns and nuzzles head against Shika's chest- I have to thank her later.

Shika: 'night Ino-chan I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Ino: 'night Shika-kun. I love you too.

AN: Alright, so that is the end. Wow, i got dirty there, but it was inspired by Flaming Beauty, my wonderful and amazing buddy that deserves as many fan-fiction friends as I have! lol we were IMing each other and she asked if i wanted a fluffy quote, and it was fluffy, I just used it as a dirty thing. Man, I have been hanging out with perverts too much. But, not a lot with Stalker-sama lately, so I guess that isn't it. lol Maybe I am a pervert. Ok, I am. lol sorry for this long-winded AN, but...PLEASE REVIEW BEFORE I GET A PMSING INO ON YOU!!! lol reviews are greatly appreciated though!


	11. I SO DID NOT KIDNAP SHIKA!

**AN: Nothing much to say except this is another quickie made to help me out of my horrible writer's block. It is still here though. Sorry for everyone hoping for an update of my other fics. No dedication for this one, but I do appreciate all the reviews! **

**Disclaimer: What do you think? I don't own Naruto, duh!**

* * *

Me: Damn. It. All.

Shika: -exasperated tone- What is your problem now?

Me: My English teacher assigned me Aphrodite for the Greek God/Goddess project.

Shika: So?

Me: She's more of a whore than you're a man whore!

Shika: What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Me: Do I need to repeat previous chapters? But I have found more pairings for you…

Shika: I don't want to know. You should know by now that Ino and I are in a steady relationship.

Me: Yeah, well it's not my fault people love you so much they just gotta pair you up with all kinds of characters.

Shika: They love me?

Me: Yes! Why do you think I started a fan club fic for you? Oh, and not to mention in the non-Naruto world I am one of your fan girls. Here, I control myself.

Shika: -shivers- I think I am scarred for life.

Me: After what happened in the Library, you deserve it.

Shika: Whatever. Now, what were you saying before?

Me: Oh yeah, well I got Aphrodite. I swear she did it with all the gods, except for 3. And they were female.

Shika: You mean she…

Me: Yeah, I am pretty sure she did it with some female goddesses and humans as well.

Shika: -drools at thought-

Me: I still strongly believe Yaoi is the only hot form of homosexual relationships.

Shika: -shaken out of reverie- WTF?!

Me: Like the really sexy fan pic of you and Neji…-drools-

Shika: WTF?! Where? How many times do I have to say that I am straight!?

Me: I know you're straight. It's a FAN pic, like this is a FAN fic. But it is still kinda sexy…

Shika: And I thought I was scarred before…-face in hands-

Me: Trust me, you have no idea what goes on in my school. This is nothing compared to the conversations we have.

Shika: Do I even want to know?

Me: You're the genius.

Shika: Fine, just tell me.

Me: Well, one day we had a discussion on periods, gynecologists, oh, and birth control. Oh yeah and we talked about…

Shika: -faints-

Me: Shika? –starts shaking Shika- OMG he fainted! –smiles maniacally and whips out cell phone- Hey LunarRose? Yeah, it's Aki. He fainted. –whips out ropes- Time to take our little Shika home for some fun…

**

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AN: Maybe I'm not so non-obsessed with Shika in the Naruto world. Hehehe oh well, everyone lies every once in a while. lol Me and LunarRose had fun with Shika (no, not that kind of fun perverts! we gave him a makeover!) but being the ninja he is, he escaped our clutches. lol thanks for reading!**

**PS I really am a Shika fan girl if you haven't realized that yet XD**


	12. Sequel: Kidnapping Can Be Good

**AN: sequel to last chap. **

**Disclaimer: don't own nothing**

* * *

Me: WAH!!! –cries hysterically-

Ino: -runs over and hugs me- What's wrong?

Me: Sh-sh-sh…

Ino: Come on, you can tell me anything. –pats my head-

Me: Sh-shika escaped me! Wah! –cries even harder than before-

Ino: O.o

5 Minutes of Crying Hysterically Later

Me: -composed-

Ino: -let's go of me- So why did Shika-kun need to escape you anyways?

Me: Well, me and LunarRose devised a plan to capture him.

Ino: Why would you want to capture my boyfriend?

Me: Because I am the founder of his fan club, and LunarRose is a dedicated fan girl.

Ino: …

Me: What?

Ino: …

Me: Well?

Ino: STAY AWAY FROM MY SHIKA!!! IF YOU DID ANYTHING TO HIM WHILE YOU HAD HIM, I SWEAR TO GOD THAT I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!!

Me: O.o but we just gave him a—

Shika: -walks in- Ino-chan, why are you screaming? I can hear you all the way across Konoha.

Ino: -drools- Sexy Shika. Aki-chan, I'm sorry for yelling at you.

Shika: -totally made over and even sexier than before- Um, Ino-chan, you're scaring me…

Ino: -grabs Shika and forcefully drags him out of the room- I love you Aki-chan!!

Shika: Ah!!!

Ino: You're coming with me! –evil glint in eyes-

Me: See people, me kidnapping Shika was a good thing.

**

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AN: lol there is the sequel! Hope you liked it! It was really fun to write. Sorry it is so short though XD review please!**


	13. Special Team 8 Edition!

**AN: I just love to do these quickies. I am on a role so don't yell at me for not updating in forever because this is my second update today! Oh, and this is my special Team 8 Edition!**

**Disclaimer: Me. No. Own. Got it?**

**

* * *

At Team 8 Training Grounds**

Me: I hate Biology and Gym.

Kiba: Why?

Me: One word: Health.

Kiba: So?

Me: Do you really like learning about the reproductive system, STD's, oh, and not to mention looking at some really gross pictures and diagrams?

Kiba: -faints-

Me: That's what I thought. Damn, I'm making everyone faint lately…

Hinata: -rushes over to Kiba- W-what h-happened to K-kiba-kun?

Me: Oh, I was just telling him what we were learning about in school.

Hinata: Can you please tell me Aki-chan?

Me: Health.

Hinata: -faints and falls on top of Kiba-

Me: Damn, it only took 1 word to make her faint. I'm getting better at this!

Shino: -walks in-

Me: …

Shino: …

Me: You gonna ask?

Shino: The bugs told me.

Me: AH!!! BUGS!!! I HATE BUGS!!!! –faints and falls next to Kiba and Hinata-

Shino: Well, I guess we solved that problem. –picks up Kiba and Hinata and leaves training grounds-

**

* * *

AN: Yeah, that was it. I really do have a phobia for bugs. No offense to Shino lovers, it's just something I can't control. Anyways, I am on a role! Please review!**


	14. You're Just Realizing He's Hot?

**AN: Hey peoples. I am doing another quickie, and then I will finish up the requests that have been taking forever. Sorry the random and anaime freak for taking forever!! Oh, and beware of some Sakura-bashing in this one. Sorry to Sakura fans, but I haven't bashed Sakura yet and wanted to try it! lol**

**Disclaimer: Haven't you gotten the picture yet? I don't own Naruto! Geez, take your lawyers away from me!!!!!**

**

* * *

Team 7 Training Grounds **

Me: Gawd I hate homework.

Naruto: Join the club.

Me: You never even did any of yours, plus the last time you had homework was when you were 12 and in the academy, which was 3 years ago! Damn teachers love to torture me more than what Iruka-sensei did to you guys. –grumbles-

Naruto: Even though I didn't do my homework, it was still a pain in the ass.

Me: Just shut up, Ramen-boy! You're staring to sound like Shika-kun with the whole "pain in the ass" thing! No one can impersonate Shika-kun. –goes on fan girl tirade-

Sakura: Don't call Naruto Ramen-boy! And what's so special about that lazy bastard?!

Naruto: -very discreetly leaves training grounds and starts running away for his dear life to the ramen shack for comfort-

Me: I can damn well call Naruto Ramen-boy if I want to, you flat chested, huge foreheaded pink haired freak! Oh, and Shika-kun is so much _hotter_, _smarter_, _nicer_, and just all around **_better_** than your precious traitor Sasuke-teme!

Sakura: Why you little—

Ino: What's going on? I can hear you all the way at my training grounds.

Me: Oh hey Ino-chan, I was just arguing with forehead-girl here about how I have every right to call Naruto Ramen-boy. Oh, and how much better Shika-kun is than Sasuke-teme.

Sakura: You call Ino-pig Ino-chan but you call me forehead-girl?!

Me: I like Ino-chan, and she is not a pig! Look at her figure! -points- You just gave her that name because of her naemsake. You are the pig. I have noticed that you put on a few pounds…

Sakura: How dare you—

Ino: -stands in between Sakura and me- Will you both stop it!!!

Me: She called Shika a lazy bastard…

Ino: Why you little bitch! –starts beating up Sakura- How dare you call my Shika-kun a lazy bastard! Just because that damn Sasuke-teme left doesn't mean you can call my boyfriend names!

Everything Stops

Sakura: Shikamaru is your boyfriend?

Ino: -blushes- Yeah. So?

Sakura: Hahahahaha! You got a lazy, ordinary looking, loser boyfriend! –starts laughing-

Shika: -walks in on scene- What the hell is going on?

Everything Stops Again

Sakura: S-sh-shikamaru?

Shika: Hn?

Ino: Hey Shika-kun! –kisses Shika on the cheek-

Shika: Hey Ino-chan –puts arm around her waist- So why did you leave training? It was troublesome trying to find you, not to mention the noise that was coming from here was interrupting my nap.

Sakura: He's…he's…he's

Me: Sakura, why the hell are you stuttering? You're ruining the moment!

Sakura: Shikamaru's hot!

Everyone but Sakura: O.o

Shikamaru: -blushes-

Me: And you're just realizing that now?

Sakura: But he's –stares at Shika with his hair down, and only clad in fishnet which shows off his muscles- wow…

Ino: You are so shallow. All you care about is the looks of a person. I love Shika-kun for who he is, he could be ugly and I would still love him. It's just a bonus that he's so sexy.

Shika: -blushing- Ino-chan…

Me: Aww, this is so cute! Why can't I ever get a boyfriend?! Damn my life sucks.

Ino: -rests head on Shika's shoulder- Well, now that was have clarified that matter, we have to get back to training. Chouji is probably wondering where we are.

Shika: Troublesome. I can tell he's going to start questioning us. –starts leaving with Ino-

Me: Well, nice talking to you! See you later guys! –waves-

Sakura: -stares at them leaving-

Me: See, Sakura-baka, you should never underestimate Shika-kun, or anyone for that matter.

Sakura: I hate you.

Me: And I hate you too. Now, I'm leaving to go say hi to Kiba-kun and Hinata-chan.

**

* * *

AN: Alright, so there is my fluffy ShikaIno romance and of course so Sakura bashing. No flames for doing that because I warned you before. It was an attempt. Oh, and I really don't hate Sakura that much. I just wanted to try something new. Please just comment on the writing style and if it was an interesting plot. Not "OMG Sakura is NOT a BAKA!!!" or anything like that. lol please review though! **


	15. WTF is Ricardo Doing!

**AN: This is a slightly taken idea from Stalker-sama and his class ones. lol this actually happened between me and my friend, whose Japanese name is Keiko. But her part will be replaced by Ino. OMG this is going to be so fun to write! Oh, and **_italics_** is the movie.**

**Disclaimer: Die lawyers! I don't own Naruto!**

**Warning: I mention something not suited for children in here. It isn't sex, but, well, an action involving a certain area…alright, if you're under the age of 13, maybe 18? i say 13 though, anyways...beware! I said this back when I was in 9th grade in Spanish 1, and I was 14, so…um, yeah, let's get to the damn story!**

**

* * *

In Spanish Class**

_Isabel¡Adios, Ricardo! –kisses Ricardo on the cheek and skips away-_

Ino: -whispering and sarcastic- Aw, Isabel just kissed Ricardo!

Me: -whispering- Yeah, I guess the best friends are going to be the cutest ugly couple ever!

Ino: -fighting back giggles-

Me: -still whispering- Look at the way her hair is, it looks like she has a giant bushy beard!

Ino: -giggles and then forces out a cough to be inconspicuous-

_Movie Ends; Main Menu of Spanish Video Appears_

Class Starts to Talk

Ino: -normal tone- That picture of them standing together is so disturbing. I mean, look at how Ricardo is standing behind her, leaning over to the side!

Me: Yeah. Oh, and look at Isabel's clothes? Who wears those jeans anymore, not to mention the way her scarf hangs below—oh my God!

Ino: What?!

Me: Nevermind, I really don't want to tell you in class, especially since a nun is our teacher. (That was true. In 9th grade I went to an all girls Catholic school, with uniforms and all. But, for this fic its boys and girls.)

Ino: Just tell me! –looks over to teacher- She's not paying attention!

Me: Fine. –whispering- From their position it looks like Ricardo is fingering Isabel from behind!

Ino: OMG!!! You're right!

Shika: What is she right about?

_DVD Removed and Disturbing Picture Gone_

Me and Ino: Nothing!

Shika: Dammit, just tell me! Troublesome women…

Ino and Me: -look at each other and nod-

Ino: Alright, so you remember that creepy Main Menu picture of Isabel and Ricardo?

Shika: Yeah, I think so.

Ino: Look, its in your book. –opens to page with disturbing pic-

Me: Well, anyways, doesn't it look like –looks around, then whispering- that Ricardo is fingering Isabel?!

Shika: HOLY SHIT!!! YOU'RE RIGHT!!!

Teacher: What was that, Nara?

Shika: Ummm…

Teacher: How dare you say that in my classroom! Detention!

Shika: But it was Ino and Aki!

Teacher Give me one good reason why they shou1d be punished.

Shika: They said that it looked like Ricardo was fingering Isabel!

Class Goes Silent and Stares at Shika Like this: O.o

Shika: -realizes what he just said, and to a nun, and blushes-

Teacher: Now why would Ino and Aki say that? Now it's a month of detention for you, Nara!

-Bell Rings for End of Period-

Shika: -walks past Ino and me we are leaving- Damn you.

**

* * *

AN: Um, well, no one actually shouted that. I just did it to make it interesting. Yeah, so anyways, I really thought that and after reading Stalker-sama's chapter I remembered saying that to my friend Keiko, so I decided to do that. Well, when I said it I didn't get caught, so Yay Me! Woah, that was preppy. Anyways, review please, no flames, I warned you all, and thanks for reading. Sorry if I scarred anyone for life!**


	16. Free Period Blues

**AN: Hey people. I am so sick it is unbelievable. Both sick physically -coughcough literally!- and in the means of having writer's block. Good news is that even though I am sick, I made the Softball team at my school! lol bad news is that I get home later than ever, which means updates may suffer for all my stories. Anyways, I wrote this during my free period when I was bored. I know I've put off dedications for a long time, but I want to let you all know that I really appreciate the reviews! Everyone that reviews makes my day!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto I do, however, own a really bad cold…wanna trade K. Masashi?**

**

* * *

In Library**

Me: Ugh, this is the worst free period ever.

Ino: -looks up from book- Would you rather be in class?

Me: …No, it's just I can't do my homework, and I will do it this weekend, and I HAVE NOTHING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!

Librarian: Shhh!

Ino: Look at all the damn computers! And you say you don't have anything to do!

Me: Simple, they monitor the computers.

Ino: So…?

Me: We can't hop on an Instant Messenger or Chat Room. Plus, I don't want them reading my emails.

Ino: Why? They can't be _that_ bad.

Me: …

Ino: O.O What _do_ you say in them?!

Me: It's not really what I say, actually. It's the alerts for (which aren't working for me right now dammit!!)

Ino: …

Me: …

Ino: PERVERT!!!!

Librarian: Shhh!

Me: Hey, well atleast I'm not doing those things! You're the one who's doing them…

Ino: WHAT?!?!

Librarian: Shhh! One more outburst and you are getting a demerit!

Ino: Sorry!

Me: What do you think I'm reading? It's ShikaIno lemons!

Ino: -faints-

Shika: -walks in and sits next to me and looks back forth between Ino and me-

Me: …

Ino: -head lolled to the side on the desk-

Shika: -exasperated and bored tone- What happened this time?

Me: -innocent tone- I just told Ino what I read about.

Shika: Troublesome…Aki, you are such a pervert. –picks up Ino bridal style and leaves-

Me: Damn straight and proud of it. –gets up from table and leaves, following behind Shika-

**

* * *

AN: Well, nothing to say except...Before He Cheats is on the radio!**

**_I dug my key into the side of his pretty lil sooped up four wheel drive...  
Before he cheats..._**

**lol anyways, review please. Oh, and my free today was really boring today. lol thanks for reading!**


	17. How to Stop Smartass Comments

**AN: I'm back again! lol aren't you just so thrilled. Anyways, I am just going to skip dedications for now. I have noticed that I have been getting less and less reviews as of late, and don't know why. Are my stories getting boring? Or is no one interested anymore? Well, either was I would like to thanks those that DO review, because it means a lot. Anyways, here is the next installment!**

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Naruto.**

* * *

**In My Room...Again!**

Me: I'm depressed.

Shika: Not again…this is going to be troublesome.

Ino: Shika-kun, shut up. Aki-chan, what's wrong?

Me: Well, I was on DeviantART today…

Ino: And? –encouraging tone-

Me: Well, my favorite artist has been submitting some pics, but they aren't what I want.

Ino: Um, Aki-chan, what is the big deal about your favorite artist not submitting pics you want?

Me: Well, she was known as the best ShikaIno artist of all time, but she hasn't submitted ShikaIno since before the New Year! –starts to cry hysterically-

Ino: O.o

Shika: I told you this would be troublesome.

Me: Stop it Shika! I'm depressed right now, dammit! –continues crying-

Ino: -starts to awkwardly pat my back-

Shika: She's worse than you when you're PMSing. Damn.

Ino: WHAT WAS THAT?!

Shika: Um, I love you?

Ino: That's what I thought you said.

Shika: Troublesome.

Ino: WHAT WAS THAT NOW?!

Shika: You're beautiful?

Ino: Thank you. –consoling me again-

Me: -miraculously stops crying- Shika-kun, you're so whipped.

Shika: Troublesome, I am not. This was just a one time thing.

Me: _Suuure_ it was, Shika-kun. -implying tone-

Shika: Women are so troublesome.

Me: Damn straight.

Ino: But you love troublesome things.

Me: Yeah, we all know you just love me Shika-kun. I'm like the big sister you never wanted!

Shika: Hn.

Me: Don't go Sasuke on me right now.

Ino: Yeah, I really don't want to like another ice block. –shivers-

Me: Yeah, especially since that one ice block turned out gay.

Silence

Ino: You mean—

Me: You don't want to know. Let's just say Haru is scarred for life after what he witnessed.

Shika and Ino: -cringe in fear-

Ino: Now _that_ is troublesome.

Shika: Got that right. Hey! That's my line!

Ino: I know. Let's just say you –seductive tone implying something- rubbed off on me.

Shika: -light blush- Troublesome.

Me: Oh, lord, not again!

Ino: What?

Me: Listen, I've seen enough of your make-out scenes, and they seriously freak me out when I witness them in person.

Shika: You're the one that writes them.

Me: Shut up, Shika-kun. Or no more kisses from Ino, or further than that because god knows what goes on in that head of yours.

Ino: Just shut up, Shika-kun, for the both of us.

Shika: …

Me: Good. And that, my friends, is how you get a genius to stop being a smart-ass.

**

* * *

AN: Wow…that was random and short. Well this is Random Conversations with Naruto and Crew, so what do you expect. lol I hope you like me OOC humor. That's the point. lol please leave a review! And thanks for reading!**


	18. Why?

**AN: Ok, nothing to say except I am bored and am taking a break from working on the next chapter of Horrors. Oh, and this chapter does not have Shikamaru and Ino in it. _Gasp!_ It has another one of my favorite Naruto characters in it, and you will have to read to find out who it is! **

**Disclaimer: Ugh, I don't own Naruto god dammit!**

* * *

Me: I hate Biology. 

Naruto: Why?

Me: Because my teacher hates me and the rest of the class!

Naruto: Why?

Me: I don't know.

Naruto: Why?

Me: -starting to get pissed- Will you SHUT UP!!!

Naruto: Why?

Me: grr…IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL LOSE ALL REFERENCES OF YOU AND SASUKE IN ALL MY STORIES…OR ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER!!!!

Naruto: -gulps and sweat appears on forehead- …why?

Me: That's it. I warned you. You're screwed.

Naruto: -hopeful tone- By Sasuke?

Me: -slaps forehead- No, because you had to say all "_Why?s_" you'll be screwing yourself from now on.

Naruto: NOOOO!!!!

**

* * *

AN: Don't you hate it when people do that "Why?" thing! OMG it just came to me, and I thought it was something Naruto would do. Ok, so a lot of you are wondering if I am a huge SasuNaru or NaruSasu supporter, and actually I just do it a lot because it is fun to make fun of. But, I actually do prefer het fics for them. But I will read their Yaoi. I think it is possible. Anyways, please review and thanks for reading! **


	19. Party At My House!

**AN: Hey faithful readers! Sorry for the wait on this one, the random. This one is a request from the random. I am so so so very sorry it has taken so long, but I finally made it for you! I Hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: God I hate typing these things. lol Don't own Naruto or the fact that Sasuke is emo.**

**Dedication: Dedicated to the random for the basic idea!**

**Warning: This is so OOC…**

* * *

-Ding-Dong-

Haru: (playing PSP) Aki, go get the door!

Me: -grumbling- Fine. I should never have let you hang out with Shikamaru. He's rubbing off his laziness. (opens door) Sasuke? What are you doing here?

Sasuke: Hn.

The Random: (jumps out from behind Sasuke) Hey Aki-chan! I heard there was going to be a party tonight at your place, and I ran into Sasuke on the way here and decided to bring him along! coughtorturehimcough –all smiles-

Me: Who told you there was going to be a—Haru what the hell did you do? Just because Mom and Dad are out of town doesn't mean you can—

-Ding-Dong-

Me: How many people did you tell about this?

Haru: Just the Rookie Nine and their senseis, Gai's Team, no way was I inviting Gai (shivers), and the Sand Sibs. Oh yeah, and the Akatsuki! But I feel like I am forgetting someone…

Me: You invited the Akatsuki?!

Haru: Ha-ha Got ya! No, I didn't but I invited all the others.

Me: Haru, just wait 'til I tell Mom…

-Ding-Dong-

Me: -opens door- For the love of—oh, um, hello Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara-sama.

Temari: Hey, is Michael gonna be here for the party?

Me: Sorry, but this is entirely for The Random and to be fair Stalker-sama will not appear. This isn't a party either.

Temari: Dammit! No Michael-kun. –pouts- But what do you mean this isn't a party! We are trying to get Gaara to socialize.

Gaara: …

Kankuro: So is there a party now? –threatens me-

Me: Um, there's food and drinks in the kitchen?

Kankuro: Thank you.

Gaara: You can't force me to stay with these freaks. I'm leaving.

Temari: -sigh- It didn't work. Oh well! Let's get some nachos!

Temari and Kankuro: -make a mad dash to kitchen-

Ding-Dong

Me: -slaps forehead- Not again.

Haru: Well we can't leave them out there! (opens door) Hey Kiba and Chouji!

Chouji: Hey Haru! Hey Aki and The Random! Sasuke?

Sasuke: Hn.

Kiba: Aki-chan, I heard you were having a party. Any party with you there is awesome.

Haru: OMG Kiba is flirting with my sister!

Me: (shoves bro out of the way) Why are you just standing there?! Let's get this party started! (smiles at Kiba) –thinking- Well, since Shikamaru is busy with Ino-chan tonight…

Music starts to play and everyone starts to dance

Haru: No frickin way. I think I am going to puke.

Chouji: I agree.

Me: (hits Haru and Chouji) Chouji, you probably just ate too many chips. So, where are Shika-kun and Ino-chan? I thought they would have come with you, Chouji.

Chouji: Well, they're umm (coughs) busy…right now.

The Random: (covers Haru's ears) No way! Wait, this child shouldn't be hearing this stuff. Sasuke!

Sasuke: Hn.

The Random: Go take Haru away from here. Just don't do anything that will scar him for life.

Sasuke: I am not babysitting that brat again!

Me: OMG did you just knock the emo out of Sasuke? Ah! First Shika-kun and Ino-chan! Now this!

Haru: The Random, don't worry about it. Sasuke already scarred me for life, so the news of what Shikamaru and Ino are doing is a lot better than what I witnessed.

The Random: -shakes head- You poor child.

Ding-Dong

Me: -opens door- Hey Hinata-chan, Shino, and Naruto.

Hinata: -quiet voice and does finger-thing- Hello, Aki-chan.

Shino: …

Me: Sorry, Shino, but make sure you don't get any bugs loose in my house. I don't want any nightmares.

Shino: Sure, Aki.

Me: Thanks, and I trust you.

Naruto: AKI-CHAN! –gives me a big hug-

Me: Can't…breathe…

Naruto: -releases me and scratches the back of his head and does his foxy grin- Sorry, Aki-chan, I was just so happy to see you!

Kiba: Don't hug Aki-chan!

Naruto: I can hug my friend Aki-chan if I want to!

Me: -blushing- Boys, please, don't argue over me.

Haru: Oh brother, here we go…

Sasuke: Hn.

Naruto: Sasuke, for the love of god will you stop being so emo and smile! Or atleast form a sentence!

The Random: Yeah, Sasuke! Please!

Sasuke: Hn.

Ding-Dong

Haru: What kind of party is this turning into. –opens door and lets Team Gai in-

Lee: WHAT A YOUTHFUL PARTY!!!

Me: -slaps forehead- Lee…that was my ear!

Lee: Sorry, youthful authoress Aki-chan!

Me: It's okay, Lee. We all know you've been hanging out with Gai-sensei too much.

Tenten: Neji-kun, let's dance! –starts to drag Neji over to dance floor-

Neji: Hn.

The Random: Not another one!

Sasuke: Atleast I'm not stuck dancing with some tomboy.

The Random: Oh my God he spoke besides a 'Hn'!

Me: Hey, don't insult Tenten! And I am a tomboy too you little bastard!

Sasuke: Hn.

The Random: Well that lasted long. Well, maybe we should get Orochimaru in here. That will knock some sense into Sasuke.

Haru: Oh yeah! Now I remember! I invited Orochimaru too!

Me: YOU WH—

Music Stops

Orochimaru: -appears behind me- Hsss, isss Sssassuke here?

Me: -eyes wide and speechless- Ooover th-there. –points to Sasuke-

Orochimaru: -slithers over to Sasuke-

Everyone: -eyes wide and frozen to spot-

A girly scream is heard

Sasuke: AHHHH!!! Aki!!! Save me from the pedophile!

Orochimaru is now seen chasing Sasuke around my house.

Haru: What is wrong with that Michael Jackson impersonator?

The Random: Got me, but atleast we got Sasuke to stop being emo for once.

Chouji: Yeah, but at the risk of us all. I lost my appetite when Orochimaru came in here.

Haru: What is the world coming to?

Me: Alright, I have a feeling this night is never going to end. Well, I would say let's continue this party, but I really don't want to get in Sasuke and Orochimaru's way.

Everyone shivers

Me: PARTY AT THE RANDOM'S!!!

Everyone: YEAH!! –leaves house-

Sasuke: NO!! Don't leave me with him!!!

Orochimaru: -catches Sasuke by the arm- Sasuke-kun…

Sasuke: AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

**

* * *

AN: OMG wow that is weird. lol I made Orochimaru a pedophile. And Temari like nachos. Woah, this is really OOC. But fun to write. lol Hoped you like it, the random!**


	20. I'm Not a Slut

**AN: This is a clarification chapter needed after I realized how other authors portray me when they use me in their random fics. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter though! They all mean a lot to me!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.**

* * *

Me: -starts to cry-

Ino: -walks over to comfort me- What's wrong now Aki-chan? –spoke in a motherly tone-

Me: Well, I really don't want to talk about it…

Shika: Troublesome. Aki, please just tell us. I don't think I've ever seen you cry seriously. All those other times were just to make Ino and I do something perverted.

Me: WAH!!! –starts to cry even harder-

Ino: Shika! You just made it worse! –starts to pat my back-

10 Minutes of Me Crying Later

Me: -sniffling-

Shika: Sorry about the comment. I didn't mean to upset you...that much...

Me: I-it's o-okay, Sh-shika-kun.

Ino: Better now?

Me: A little…

Ino: Want to talk about it?

Me: Okay...I guess...

Shika: We're listening.

Me: Well, I have been reading the stories that other authors put me in.

Ino: Mmhmm. Go on.

Me: And they all just have me randomly go into a make out scene!

Ino and Shika: -wide-eyed- ...

Me: I know! I'm not a slut! I don't do that kind of stuff!

Ino: I'm so sorry Aki-chan! You know how many people think I'm a slut, and it really pisses me off too!

Me: Yeah! You are so not a slut, Ino-chan! Far from it! And just because I read lemons and have had dirty thoughts does not make me a slut! Everyone has those thoughts, and they don't call those other authors sluts!

Ino: YEAH!

Me: I mean, look at all the great lemon authors out there! I have written one, and that was for my friend Flaming Beauty. It was a challenge, because if I could write a good lemon I knew I was a pretty good author. It takes some talent to get the emotions right. It was a big step I needed to take in my writing career! And if you look at my stories, the actually fics not including this one, they are not that perverted. There are way pervier ones out there!

Shika: Who did this to you?

Me: I'm not gonna say their names because I bet they did it unintentionally, and of course they are my friends, but I just know people think I'm a slut with the way I am portrayed in all these fics!

Shika and Ino: For the love of god you aren't a slut!

Me: -goes over and hugs them- Thank you so much Shika-kun and Ino-chan. You are like the big brother and big sister I never had. It really means a lot.

**

* * *

AN: Ok, so that is it. I am sorry if I offended any of the writers that write me like that. It's just that you portray me like such a slut, and I'm not like that. Sure, I read lemons, but I'm old enough to know what sex is, and to know that people who truly love each other can engage in that. It also adds to the texture of the story. Why shouldn't you read a story just because it has a lemon. There are tons of amazing fics with them! Like Lunatic by ArAshiMitArAshi! And for my thoughts in these fics, well I do it for humor! Just because I don't lie about my thoughts doesn't make me a slut! I'm not afraid to let you know that I sometimes have thoughts like this. It's natural! Well guys, sorry for this waste of a chapter and thanks for reading! Please let there be some of you that don't think I'm a slut. Just tell me in a review, PM, or email. I need some support right now. I'm having a hard time…**


	21. Ara chan and Me!

**AN: Hey guys! I want to thank everyone that reviewed last chapter! You all reassured me that I am not a slut. I love you all -hugs everyone that reviewed on PMed me- lol so this is going to be a continuing fic between me and the amazing ArAshiMitArAshi!!! OMG she has been PMing me, and these are our random conversations. She gave me permission to publish it here, because it _is_ a random conversation! This will go on for a few chapters until we finally get bored. lol I have it mention for who writes what. Ara-chan is the great ArAshiMitArAshi. New chapters for this will be posted once I get enough to do one! So it will vary.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.**

**PS: It's gonna get confusing with who's saying what, because Ara-chan and Aki-chan are similar in spelling, so read carefully! Now ONWARD!!!**

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(Written by Me) **

Ara-chan: Alright, we can share Shika-kun.

Shika: -walks past us-

Aki-chan: Shika!!! (glomps Shika)

**(Written by Ara-chan)**

Ara-chan: Oh, no! You wouldn't! (steals Shika back)

Ino (suddenly appears out of nowhere): Ok, that's enough you guys! Give Shika back to me! (stomps to me and steals now unconscious Shika) Oh, poor, Shika..

Ara-chan: It's her fault! (points at Ak-chan)

Aki-chan: What the-? Hey! It's our fault!

**(Written by Me)**

Ara-chan: IS NOT!! YOU STARTED IT!!!

Aki-chan: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID WE COULD SHARE, SO WE SHOULD SHARE THE DAMN BLAME! I'M BEING NICE BY NOT BLAMING IT ALL ON YOU!!!

Ino: Uh, guys? Seriously, can I just have my Shika-kun. (starts to drag unconscious Shika away)

Aki-chan: No you don't! It's my turn to have him! I'm his number one fan girl! (grabs Shika's arm)

Ara-chan: No! It's my turn! What happened to sharing, Aki-chan? (grabs Shika's other arm)

Ino: Troublesome. (lets go of Shika and walks away) This is to much work. Just don't rape Shikamaru…AKI-CHAN!

Aki-chan: -shifty eyes-

**(Written by Ara-chan)**

Ara-chan (watches Ino walks away, gapes): Seriously, Aki-chan... Ino leaves -points to unconscious Shika- to us?

Aki-chan: I...think so?

Ara-chan (waves): Hey, Ino! Ino! Wait a sec! You seriously leave him to me?

Aki-chan: No, idiot! Us! Sharing, remember?

Ara-chan: Uh, yea…Ino?

Ino (rolls eyes): Gah! Just promise him that you guys will treat him very nicely, okay?

-Ino leaves -for good-

Ara-chan (stares at Shika): OMG... I really can have him?

Aki-chan (glares): _We_, remember?

Ara-chan (evil smile): So, Aki-chan... What are we gonna do now?

Aki-chan (shares the same smile): As long as no raping...

Ara-chan (glomps): Kyaa! Shikamaru!

**(Written by Me)**

Shika: WHAT?!

Aki-chan: I knew he wasn't unconscious!

Ara-chan and Aki-chan: Damn.

Shika: -sees Ino halfway across the street- Don't leave me! –runs after her-

Ara-chan: No you don't! –grabs his collar and pulls him back-

Aki-chan: Ino said we could have you, as long as we don't rape you. –evil smirk-

Shika: NO!!! -does his scowl/pout thing that is so sexy may I add- This is so troublesome...

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AN: So I'm waiting for Ara-chan's part, then I will reply, then repeat! lol So after I get about a page I will post another part of this. Just look at the title of the chapter, and it will tell you whether it is just one of my conversations, or if it is Ara-chan's and mine. lol please review and thanks for reading! **


	22. Haru's Chapter! Oro vs Jiraiya

**AN: Hello everyone! Sorry for such a long time between updating. anyways, I am now giving the computer to Haru! This is his idea btw!**

**Hey everyone! How is going? Well, anyway, this is my first RCNC without any help from Aki, so don't make fun of me! or else…lol Well, I hope you enjoy my chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto so stop bugging me like Shino! (bad pun, I know)**

**Dedication: To all my readers! And fan girls (Aki: Oh gawd, I knew he would get an inflated ego from this…)**

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Jiraiya: So Orochimaru, we meet again.

Orochimaru: Indeed.

Jiraiya: We know how to settle this, right?

Orochimaru: In dubiously.

Jiraiya: -scratches side of head- Do I look like a genius?

Orochimaru: No.

Jiraiya and Orochimaru: ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!!!

Jiraiya: Hah! I win! Paper covers rock! I told you, Third Hokage, that I would beat Orochimaru in something!

Ghost of Third Hokage: Nice job, you old pervert.

Jiraiya: Look who's talking!

Orochimaru: Fine, the city is safe this time. But I'll be back. –jumps on giant snake and leaves-

Jiraiya: -flips Orochimaru off-

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**Aki: Wait, why wasn't there any ShikaIno action in this chapter! Gah! I'm ashamed of you, Haru!**

**Haru: You don't need to think too hard about what they were doing during this chapter.**

**Aki: Hehehe, yeah…But wait, this is my fic, how come I wasn't in this chapter!**

**Haru: -bolts out of my room-**

**Aki: I'll get him later for that, don't worry! lol So, Haru means to say thanks for reading and please review!**


	23. Mission: Rescue Temari! Part 1

**AN: Alright, so we all know how obsessed Stalker-sama is with Temari, right? Well, he hasn't been on in while, partly because some of his favorite authors, like me, haven't been updating! He emailed me not that long ago, and I had made a comment about him and his Temari. Well he said he couldn't find Temari! So I told him I would help him find her! And thus, this RCNC chapter has come about (RCNC stands for Random Conversations with Naruto and Crew btw). So, here we go!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Stalker-sama. Naruto is owned by K. Masashi, and Stalker-sama is owned by Temari! lol**

**Dedication: To Stalker-sama, who I have missed so dearly! It was such a pleasure to talk to him after such a long time! Damn you schoolwork! **

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**In My Room**

-the second Naruto theme song begins to play-

Aki: -grabs cell from pocket and looks at caller ID- OMG it's Stalker-sama! I haven't talked to him in forever! –flips open new cell- Michael!!!

Michael: Hey Aki, how've you been?

Aki: Great! And you? How come you haven't been on fanfiction in a while?

Michael: Pretty good as well…I guess. Well, since some people weren't updating, not to mention a busy life outside of anime, I haven't been getting on.

Aki: Sorry bout that. Well, I've been really busy too, so that's my excuse for not updating. –scratches side of face nervously- So anyways, why are you calling out of the blue like this? I know it isn't just to talk.

Michael: Ok, so I'm in a bit of a dilemma. You know about my steady relationship with Temari, and how she's been living with me, right?

Aki: Of course!

Michael: Well…Temari's gone missing!

Aki: OMG! Who did this to you and Temari?!

Michael: I have no idea! I just woke up one morning after a night of fun and she wasn't there!

Aki: Are you sure she didn't get sent on a mission?

Michael: Positive. She always leaves a note.

Aki: Do you think that maybe she was in a hurry and forgot?

Michael: Never! I even checked with both Gaara and Naruto to see if they sent her on some kind of mission, and they said no.

Aki: Did you check her friends?

Michael: I checked, and none of them have seen her!

Aki: Oh, Stalker-sama, I'm so sorry! Hey, I just got a great idea! Haru!!!

Haru: -comes running up the stairs to my room- What now?

Aki: Temari has gone missing! And Stalker-sama has no idea where she is!

Haru: Oh for the love of God, who cares about that Sand Slut/Wind Whore anyway?

Michael: -slaps Haru- Don't you dare insult my Temari-chan!

Haru: How did you get in here you crazed stalker of my sister's fanfiction—OW!!! Aki, why'd you hit me?

Aki: Hey, don't insult Stalker-sama when he's going through a hard time such as this! And I think it is perfectly normal for someone to read all my wonderful fanfiction. I _am_ the great tomboy14 of course!

Haru and Michael: -roll their eyes-

Haru: I guess we finally agree on something.

Michael: It has to be about your sister's inflated ego, of course.

Aki: -glares- I'll ignore that…for now…

Haru and Michael: -cringe in fear-

Aki: But anyways, Michael, how _did_ you get in here?

Michael: Temari taught me the transportation jutsu.

Aki: Oh! Yeah, I got Shika-kun and Ino-chan to teach me that as well!

Haru: What about me?! How come Shikamaru and Ino-chan didn't teach it to me?

Aki: Cuz you're a little brat.

Michael: -snickers-

Haru: Don't laugh at me!

Aki: Enough, you two! Now, I have a plan! Let's rescue Temari!

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Shika and Ino: _What?!_

Aki: You heard me!

Ino: Let me get this straight, we are going on a mission to save Michael's girlfriend Temari.

Aki: Yep!

Shika: With no clue whatsoever as to her whereabouts.

Aki: Yep!

Shika and Ino: Troublesome.

Aki: Yep! Wait, aw, you guys are so close that you can finish each other's thoughts, and have adopted the same catch phrase! How sweet! ShikaIno forever, you non-believers!

Haru and Michael: -sigh- Here we go again…

Aki: I mean, hello, ShikaIno is just so cute! And sexy at times!

Ino: Don't even think about bringing up some of the nasty lemons you've read!

Shika: You've already scarred each of us for life atleast once may I remind you.

Aki: It's my job though. –pouts-

Michael: Can we get back to finding my Temari-chan?

Aki: Okay! So we head out in, let's say, 5 minutes! Here's your stuff! I took the liberty of getting it before you all arrived here!

Shika: How did you do that?

Aki: Let's just say I have some connections…

Michael: -whispering to Haru- And she calls _me_ a Stalker…

Aki: I heard that!

-5 Minutes Later-

Aki: -carrying a backpack and now has a leaf headband on her arm like Shikamaru wears his- Let's head out! –jumps into trees-

"Team Rescue Temari": -follows my lead-

Shika: Who came up with this lame name?

Ino: -slaps hand over Shika's mouth- Shut it before she hears us!

Haru: -riding on Shikamaru's back- How come I don't get a headband and ninja tools?

Aki: Because it's my fanfiction!

Haru: -grumbles about mean older sisters-

Shika: How come I have to carry Haru? He's your brother.

Aki: You're a man, suck it up. Do you realize how heavy he is? Now to mention that I'm leading this mission, so I can't have any distractions.

Shika: -grumbles about troublesome women-

Aki: Alright, so about 5 more hours of nonstop traveling until we take a pit stop! Then another 6 more hours straight and we're halfway to Suna!

Team: -groans-

Aki: Let's get this mission started! –pumps fist in the air- HELL YEAH!!!

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**AN: So this is part one of my RCNC of Team Rescue Temari! So I hope you have enjoyed this little bit of randomness. **

_Next time, on Team Rescue Temari: Where is Temari? Will the Team make it in one piece to Suna? Will Shikamaru and Ino be able to keep their hands off one another until we get to the hotel in Suna? Will Haru and Michael stop bickering? And most of all, will the Team not kill Aki before they even get to Suna? Stay tuned to RCNC to find out! _

**I have issues. lol well thanks for reading and please review!**


	24. Mission: Rescue Temari! Part 2

**AN: OMG I'm sooo sorry guys! Especially you, Stalker-sama! I've been really busy, and that is why this chapter has taken so long! I know, hard to believe with it being my summer vacation, but trust me, I've been busy! Anyways, this is extra long for me taking so long! **

**Dedication: Again, to my dearest friend Stalker-sama. I shall find your Temari-chan like the great fanfiction sister I am! I look to you as another brother, and I love you like a little sister loves her older brother! Oh, and also this is dedicated to a certain sibling of mine. Alright, it's for Haru! It was his birthday a few days ago, which is also one of the reasons why this isn't done until now.**

**Disclaimer: Yo no tengo Naruto. That is Spanish for "I do not have Naruto." I don't know how to say "own," so I said "have." Whatever!**

**Warning: Mild hints of sexual activity. Nothing is described, it is just said that two people had sex. Oh, and I guess all the characters are a little older. You can pick an age. Haru is no older than 14 to 15 though and I'm no older than 18 to 19 in this chapter. **

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****In Suna**

A Guy's voice: Hehehe, Aki will never find us, right my dearest Temari-chan?

Temari: -in a dark cell, gripping the bars- You'll never get away with this! In your fanfiction you can have me, but when I'm in Aki-chan's and Michael-kun's fanfiction, I'm his!

Guy's voice: Oh, we shall see about that from now on…

**In the Forest towards Suna**

Haru: -now riding on Michael's back- Are we there yet?

Aki: For the nth time, NO!!! Will you shut the hell up, Haru?!

Michael: I may not like Haru, but aren't you being a little harsh on your own _brother_?

Aki: Hell no! You should see what that brat does to me!

Haru: You started it!

Aki: Nuh-uh!

Haru: Uh-huh!

Aki: Nuh-uh!

Haru: Uh-huh!

Aki: Nuh-uh!

Haru: Uh-huh!

Michael: QUIET!!!!!!!!

Aki and Haru: o.O sorry…

Aki: Hey, wait a minute, where are Shika-kun and Ino-chan?

Michael: Oh shit, don't tell me we lost the only Naruto ninja on our team. And now I'm stuck with those troublesome siblings!

Aki and Haru: HEY!!!

Aki: You should be happy that I'm going through all this trouble to save _Temari_! It's all for you, dammit! I wouldn't save her otherwise!

Michael: You wouldn't save Temari-chan…it's all for me…?

Haru: -rolls his eyes-

Aki: Duh! She isn't really one of my favorite characters! Not to mention that in most of the fics I read, she causes trouble for ShikaIno! I only do this for one of my best fanfiction friends, you!

Michael: Really?

Aki: Of course! You are like an older brother to me, Stalker-sama!

Haru: As touching as this is, can we please go get Shikamaru and Ino-chan! I hate to think of what could be happening to them right now…-shivers-

Aki and Michael: Not really.

Michael: Trust me; we_ all_ know what they are _doing_ right now…

Aki: And they're doing each other without me there to witness it! How dare they?!

Michael and Haru: o.O – slowly back away from Aki-

Aki: Alright, just stop it. Let's go get them! Now Haru, I suggest you cover your eyes…just in case…

Haru: No way!

Aki: -mumbles to Michael- And you think I'm a pervert…

Haru: Hey!!!

Aki: You started it!

Haru: Nuh-uh!

Aki: Uh-huh!

Haru: Nuh-uh!

Aki: Uh-huh!

Michael: Will you guys stop it?! Can we just go find Shikamaru and Ino?!

Aki: Fine. –takes off in the direction they came from-

Michael: -follows Aki with Haru on his back-

**About a mile from where Aki, Haru, and Michael were before**

Aki: Ugh, this is gonna make the trip take even longer!

Michael: Damn you, Shikamaru and Ino! Why can't you just keep your hands off each other?!

Haru: Uh, good sex?

Aki: HARU!!!! Oh my God, you are not allowed to watch South Park, Jackass, and Viva la Bam any more!

Haru: -pouts-

Michael: -hears a twig snap on the ground- Aki, did you hear that?

Aki: -places index finder over her mouth in a shushing motion-

Haru: -shifts uncomfortably on Michael's back-

Aki: -motions her head to the side for Michael (and Haru) to follow her; pulls out some kunai-

Michael: -pulls out a some shuriken-

Haru: -thinking- Why don't I ever get any cool ninja gear?!

Aki: NOW!!!!! –jumps down from tree with Michael right behind her-

Everyone: -gasps-

Shika and Ino: -sleeping with a blanket covering their naked bodies-

Haru: Ah! My eyes!

Michael: Oh.

Aki: My.

Michael: God.

Aki: That was so cool how we finished each other's thought!

Michael: -rolls his eyes-

Haru: Aki! Stalker-baka, do something!

Aki: Um…I really don't know what to do in a situation like this.

Michael: You're the team leader, you do something!

Aki: Oh! I know! –grabs a stick and pokes Shika with it-

Shika: Ah! –sits up to reveal his bare chest, but nothing else; glares at Aki- WTF was that for?!

Aki: -staring at his chest and abs transfixed, then snaps out of it and looks to his face angry- For leaving the rest of us and delaying the mission so you could do it with Ino!

Ino: -yawns and snuggles closer to Shika still asleep-

Michael: -sweat drops- Uh, how about we all leave and let you two get dressed so we can save my Temari-chan?

Aki and Haru: NOO!!!

Michael: Why not?

Aki: But I wanna see Shika-kun get dressed…-pouts-

Haru: And I wanna see Ino-chan get dressed…-pouts-

Michael: -mumbles- Perverted siblings…

Aki: -whacks Haru over the head for his comment-

Haru: Hey! What was that for?!

Aki: For being a pervert!

Haru: But you want to see Shikamaru get dressed!

Aki: Yeah, but I'm older than you! It's okay for me to want to see that.

Michael: Here we go again. Alright, that's it; we're leaving so they can get dressed.

Aki and Haru: But—

Michael: No buts, let's go! –jumps into the trees with a grumbling Aki following-

Aki: -whining- Stalker-sama, how could you do this to me?

Michael: Remember, we have a mission to save my Temari-chan! Do you realize how sidetracked you've gotten?

Aki: -scratches the side of face- Whoops, sorry.

Shika and Ino: -jump into tree next to ours blushing-

Aki: Alright, now it's time for me to be tough on you two! You're costing Stalker-sama more time away from his Temari-chan, so we must double time!

Everyone but Aki: -groans-

Aki: Blame it on them! –points to Shika and Ino- Now, Shika-kun, Ino-chan, it is time for your punishment.

Ino and Shika: -awaiting their punishment nervously knowing full well what Aki could do-

Aki: Shika-kun, you must carry Haru…the rest of the way.

Shika: -rolls his eyes-

Aki: And you can't touch Ino, at all!

Shika and Ino: _What?!_

Aki: You heard me! Now, Ino, you must carry my pack! –throws her my backpack-

Ino: -catches it, groaning- Geez, what did you put in this thing?

Aki: Clothes, food, blankets, feminine supplies (just in case), makeup (you never know who you'll have to meet there), scrolls, and the book I'm reading!

Everyone else: o.O

Aki: Shut it! Now let's get moving!

**-5 Hours of Nonstop Travel Later-**

Haru: -sleeping on Shika's back-

Shika: -complaining- Aki, can we please take a break? We're almost halfway there now because of your excessive travel, and there's an Inn up ahead. There's less than one hour left until dark, so this is the safest place to stay. Oh, not to mention Haru is drooling on my clothes.

Aki: Nope! We're sleeping in the forest!

Everyone but Aki: -groans-

Michael: But Aki, we can take a break. It's safest for us to stay there, and I don't feel like sleeping in the forest.

Aki: No way! We need to save Temari! Who knows what's happening to her!

**In Suna**

Temari: Mmm, this food is delicious! I never knew being kidnapped would be like this!

Guy's Voice: Heh, better than that loser Michael treats you, right?

Temari: Hell no! I mean, this is good, but Michael-kun and I have so much fun. Being tied up to a chair and being fed delicious food isn't exactly the best thing in the world.

Guy's Voice: Would you prefer not being tied up and no food?

Temari: -mumbles- Smartass.

**Back with the Team**

Michael: I doubt they would kill her. It's probably just some obsessive guy, like me, except not me.

Aki: I don't care! We are going to keep traveling until I stay stop!

Ino: -growls- Aki!!! –lunges at Aki-

Shika: -holds Ino back- Ino-chan, we can't kill her! I know this is troublesome, but she's the team leader, and, hopefully, knows what she is doing. –sigh- I hate this.

Aki: Yeah! If you kill me, I swear that no more ShikaIno will come from my family, and Haru will convince my friends not to write it anymore as well!

Haru: -wakes up- Huh?

Aki: Just go back to sleep.

Haru: -yawns- 'kay. –falls back asleep-

Ino: You. Wouldn't!

Aki: -smirks- I. Would.

Ino: -settles down-

Shika: -releases Ino-

Ino: -crosses her arms- Fine…

Aki: Hah! No murder of Aki! –punches fist into the air- Oh, and I'll forgive you for touching Ino, Shika-kun, because you stopped her from harming me. Now, let's keep moving dammit! I wanna get to Suna soon! –takes off sprinting-

Shika: Where does she get this energy from?

Michael: Well, since you have a complete and utter lack of energy, I'm guessing that Aki has an abnormal amount of energy.

Haru: -now awake- Yeah, Aki can get really hyper at the most random times, exactly like me, but then, especially in the morning, she'll never wake up. She usually gets a lot of energy at night. She's a freak. I'm hyper during the day.

Ino: Well that's interesting…wait, Shika-kun, I just got an amazing idea!

Shika: What?

Ino: Well, once we get Aki to go to sleep, in the morning she'll not want to wake up. Thus we can exploit it to our benefit and take a break until she wakes up fully!

Shika: Hey, that's a really good plan!

Michael: Damn, your genius must be rubbing off on her, Shikamaru!

Haru: -mumbles- Among other things…

Michael: -whacks Haru over the head- If Aki would have heard that comment, she would have done the same thing.

Aki: -appears beside Michael- Heard what, Stalker-sama?

Michael: -sweating- Um, uh, nothing!

Aki: If Haru said anything perverted, you can tell me.

Shika: Uh, don't worry about it, Aki. I didn't hear what Haru said, but Michael whacked him over the head for it.

Ino: Yeah!

Aki: Oh, okay! –totally oblivious…or so they think-

Ino: So, when do you think we should stop for the night, oh Captain Aki?

Aki: -smiles- Well, since you all are being so understanding right now, I guess we can stop about a mile down that river over there. –points to river-

Everyone but Aki: -smirking at the idea of their diabolical plan-

Aki: Whatcha smirking at? Cuz I know that you're up to something. I'm being nice, so don't screw it over. And Haru, I can be hyper in the mornings if I want to.

Haru: Shit.

Aki: Hey, watch the language, twerp!

Michael: Don't you dare start another stupid argument!

Aki: But we weren't going to! Ah, wait, we're here! –slows down and jumps into clearing by river- We can camp here for the night.

Shika: -whispers something to Ino-

Ino: -smirks-

Aki: No sex! Earlier was your fix for the rest of this trip!

Shika and Ino: -grumbling-

Michael: Geez, some people have some overactive sex drives.

Aki: No offense Stalker-sama, but like you're one to talk. Do not get me started on your segments of _Stalker-sama's Thoughts Alive_, which by the way you seriously need to update.

Haru: Oh dang!

Everyone but Haru: Never say that again.

Haru: -pouts-

Aki: Alright, let's get to bed! We're waking up early tomorrow. Haru, yes, I said early, so you can close your mouth.

**In Suna**

Guy's voice: Mmm, it's night, you know what that means, Temari-chan! –approaches Temari-

Temari: Nooo! What are you doing!

Guy's Voice: Something I've always wanted to do with you in Aki's fanfiction.

Temari: Gah, stop tickling me with that feather! –laughing uncontrollably-

Guy's Voice: Never!

Temari: You'll never get away with this…DynamicChaos!!!!

DC: -laughs maniacally-

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**AN: I bet you didn't expect that one, eh? Yeah, well I would like to thank DC so much for allowing me to use him in this. I know how much both he and Stalker-sama love Temari, so I decided to throw this twist in, also because he has such a great personality for being the one who captured Temari. XDD Grrr, I want to write more, but I really wanna post some of this. OMG I just realized this was 9 pages long! Last one was only 4! Hell yeah I think that's a decent amount, but I'm in writers mood so I'll work on my other stories for now. I swear I will skip to the group in Suna next chapter. I'm getting bored with our travels, and I bet you are too. Well thanks for reading and please review! They fuel my author powers! **


	25. Mission: Rescue Temari! Part 3

**AN: I'm starting this one before the next chapter of "The Horrors of a Fan Club" because Stalker-sama needs me to find Temari before he'll post some of his stories.**

**Dedication: To Stalker-sama of course. May we find his Temari-chan soon!**

**Disclaimer: Mendokuse, of course I don't own Naruto! **

**Note: I'm skipping to the group in Suna this chapter.**

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**In Suna  
**  
Aki: Hah! I told you that if we double-timed we'd be able to get here really soon!

Shika: But that's only because you skipped the rest of the trip to Suna because you were boring the readers to death.

Aki: Do you want me to have an uber long flashback talking about every miniscule detail of the trip here?

Everyone but Aki: NO!!!!

Aki: -smirks- That's what I thought.

Michael: Aki-chan, do you think we could stop standing here and start looking for my dearest Temari-chan?

Aki: Oh, yeah! Of course! But first we're gonna have to check into a hotel. Hey, Shika-kun, Ino-chan, any recommendations?

Ino: Yeah! I suggest that one over there! –points- It's not too expensive, not to mention the beds are really comfy and great for se—

Shika: -slaps hand over Ino's mouth- Ino!!!

Ino: -eyes widen at what she was going to say; mumbles something incoherent through Shika's hand-

Shika: -removes hand-

Ino: I said sorry. Especially to you Haru.

Haru: It's all right; Aki can be pretty bad sometimes.

Aki: Hey!!!

Haru: You are such a baby!

Aki: Well you started it!

Haru: Nuh-uh!

Aki: Uh-huh!

Haru: Nuh-uh!

Aki: Uh-huh!

Haru: Nuh-uh!

Aki: Uh-huh!

Michael: -eye twitching- SHUT UP!!!!!!!

Everyone but Michael (including some random Suna citizens walking around): o.O

Aki and Haru: Sorry…again.

Shika: This has happened before?

Michael: -massages temples- You have no clue what I went through while you and Ino were off in free love land.

Aki: Alright, enough with this! Let's get to that hotel and then grab a quick bite to eat before we start our extremely awesome in-Suna search for Temari! My author senses are tingling!

Haru: You watch too much Spiderman. It's starting rub off on you and make you change his catch phrase around a little bit to fit your purposes.

Ino: You watch Spiderman too?

Aki: OMG yes! Do you remember the first movie when —

Ino: MJ and Spiderman had the upside down kiss in the rain!

Aki: Yes! I loved that part! It was so hot!

Ino: I know! I even got Shika-kun to try it with me!

Shika: -blushing-

Aki: You have to give me details on that after this mission!

Ino: Will do.

Michael: Uh, as much as I enjoyed your conversation on Spiderman and kissing in the rain, CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO TO THE FREAKIN HOTEL!!!!!

Haru: True dat.

Everyone but Haru: Never say that again.

Haru: -mumbles- I need a cool catch phrase.

Aki: Alright, let's go.

Team Rescue Temari: -walks over to hotel and checks in-

Aki: -holding 3 sets of keys- Alright, I got us 3 rooms. Now, me being the amazingly awesome and uber nice person that I am, I am going to pair you guys up for your pleasure.

Everyone but Aki: -crossing their fingers for a good rooming arrangement-

Aki: Now, Ino-chan, you and Shika-kun will be together.

Shika and Ino: YES!!!! –hug each other-

Aki: Stalker-sama, for now you will room with Haru.

Michael and Haru: WHAT?!!

Aki: I said _for now_! Geez, let me finish, will ya? It's only until we get Temari. Then Michael and Temari will be together, and I'll just have to deal with Haru for a night before we go back to Konoha.

Haru: Wait a second; you get your own room until then!

Aki: Yep! Plus I need to space for all my stuff, not to mention I need peace and quiet to start my kick-ass plan that will find us Temari.

Ino: Can we have our keys now? –eager-

Aki: Yes, but like I said before, no sex!

Shika and Ino: -pouts-

Aki: Ugh, fine. You can do it when we get back later tonight. Until then I want peace and quiet so I can go over my scrolls and strategize. I don't need to hear any thumping while I'm trying to work, not to mention poor Haru would have to hear it, and the least you can do is wait until he's asleep, because he sleeps like a rock.

Haru: -smiling a Naruto-like foxy grin- YEP!!!

Michael: Hey, you mind if I take a quick nap before we go to eat, Aki-chan? This whole dilemma is getting to me.

Aki: Oh, sure Stalker-sama! Here's the key. Haru and I will head out and look over the town and find a good place to eat.

Haru: We will?

Aki: -glaring- Yes! Michael needs some alone time!

Haru: Fine. Later Shikamaru, Ino-chan, and Stalker-baka.

Michael: -whacks Haru over the head-

Haru: OW!!! Meh, I guess I had it coming. Sorry Michael.

Michael: You're apologizing? What is the world coming to?

Haru: It's cuz Aki would have my head once we get outta here.

Aki: Yep! Now, remember what I said Shika-kun and Ino-chan.

Shika and Ino: Yeah.

Aki and Haru: -throw their things in their respective rooms and leave hotel-

Ino: She said no sex…

Shika: But that leaves so many more possibilities! –grabs Ino and runs off to room-

Michael: -walks to room dragging his feet; opens door. throws stuff on floor, and collapses on bed-

-Ino's moan is heard through the wall-

Michael: -looks to ceiling; sighs- Temari-chan, with the help of Aki-chan, we'll find you! –falls asleep-

**With Temari  
**  
Temari: -laying inside cell; hears Michael's voice- Oh, I must be imagining things. –depressed- Oh Michael-kun, please rescue me from this hell!

**With Aki and Haru on the Streets of Suna**

Aki: -stops walking- Um, Haru?

Haru: -looks to sister- Yeah?

Aki: -looks at feet- Well, uh…

Haru: Just spit it out, sis!

Aki: -firm voice- Alright. –looks to Haru- I'm really sorry for what I do to you, and what it causes to happen to you in other fanfiction. It's all my fault you're the comic relief in so many stories. If I wouldn't have made you that way in this and _They're Singing What?_ then you'd be a normal character like me!

Haru: Oh, Aki-neechan, it's alright! I'm Haru! Tomboy14's younger brother, who happens to be a very funny person! It's not your fault you made me the comic relief! I am the comic relief everywhere, and that's what makes me…me! It's thanks to you I'm famous for it! Come on, everyone loves the comic relief characters!

Aki: Aw, thanks so much Haru! You're the best little brother! Always have been, always will be!

Haru: -smiling- Thanks Aki-neechan.

Aki: -smiling a true smile for once- You're welcome! Alright, now let's go find a place to eat!

**

* * *

****AN: So now Aki and Haru are alright, and can live without fighting. Er, well, for now. Atleast we respect each other. When we do fight, it will just be the regular brother-sister bickering. And, Shika and Ino get their little bit of lime. (Come on, we all know that's what they're doing.) I really need to specify the _do_s and _don't_s more clearly. XD And poor Michael is really missing his Temari-chan. And Temari-chan is really missing her Michael-kun. Sorry that this is shorter than last chapter, but I want to get this out right now so atleast something is posted. And hey, it's still longer than Part One of this little mini-plot series! Well, thanks for reading and as always please review! **


	26. Team 7 Special! Watch Out Uchiha!

**AN: I know I should be working on my mini-plot "Team Rescue Temari" but I'm currently arguing with Haru and can't concentrate on writing with him being in the story without having him die or something. I love Haru, but being around your brother who is three years younger than you 24/7 gets really annoying. XD So enjoy a random update from the inner recesses of my mind! With no Haru this chapter, but that just means more Aki time!!!! Oh, and btw, all Naruto characters are time-skip age, and to be different I'll be 8 years old. (Oh, the good old days…)**

**Dedication: Hmmm, who should I dedicate this too? Oh, I know! How about to everyone that reads this and reviews! You keep me going! Thanks to you all I've become a pretty successful author here on fanfiction. I've improved immensely from the first time I started writing.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto was brought into existence by the amazing and far superior to myself Masashi Kishimoto. I was brought into existence by my mommy and daddy :D**

**--**

**In My Room**

Aki: Hmmm, I need something to do. With my current situation of being uber pissed at Haru over another trivial occurrence, I have no comic relief. Damn.

Naruto: Hey Aki-chan!!

Aki: Oh, hey Naruto. Wait, how the hell did you get in my room?!

Naruto: Sasuke still has the key you gave him from way back when he baby-sitted Haru.

Aki: I knew I was missing something! Oh shit, if Mom knew that a dangerous ninja had a key to our house, I'd be dead!

Naruto: Uh, Aki-chan, aren't you a little young to be cursing like that?

Aki: But Konohamaru cursed when he was younger, so why can't I?

Sakura: Nice comeback, Aki-chan!

Aki: What, you too, Sakura?! How the heck is everyone getting into my house?!

Sai: I believe the Uchiha made spares.

Aki: -buries face in hands- I'm screwed! Mommy's gonna be really pissed at me when she finds out!

Sakura: Um, Aki-chan, you should have known by now that Sasuke is sick and twisted, so he decided to screw your life over by making spares for everyone in Konoha.

Sasuke: Tru dat.

Everyone: oO

Sakura: Sasuke-kun, did you just say "Tru dat"?!

Sasuke: Hn.

Aki: -face is hidden by shadows-

Naruto: Uh, Sasuke-teme…

Sakura: Sasuke-kun…

Sai: I think what dickless and Miss Ugly are trying to say is you had better start running.

Sasuke: -scoffs- Like I'm afraid of a now 8 year old girl.

Aki: SASUKE!!!! –jumps up all of a sudden older and scarier than Inner Sakura-

Sasuke: …shit…-takes off sprinting-

Aki: GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!!!!! –chases after Sasuke-

Naruto, Sakura, and Sai: -watch as a 15 year old Aki chases after Sasuke throughout Konoha-

Naruto: Sooooo, anyone up for some ramen! –does foxy grin-

Sakura: Sure, why not. Good thing Kakashi-sensei isn't having any training today, and I'm off from training with Tsunade-sama.

Naruto: How about you Sai?

Sai: I've got nothing better to do, so I might as well let dickless treat me to ramen.

Naruto: Wha--?!

Sakura: RAMEN ON NARUTO!!!

Naruto: Hey, that's wasn't part of the—

Sakura and Sai: -drag Naruto to Ichiruka for some ramen, Naruto's treat-

**With Aki and Sasuke**

Sasuke: Aaaaahhhh!!!! –being dragged by a yet again 8 year old Aki to a secluded area of a forest-

Aki: -evil smirk- Oh, do I have a good punishment for you! –snaps fingers-

-a hoard of Sasuke fan girls (and boys) appear-

Aki: Have fun, ladies! (and gentlemen!)

Sasuke: NOOOOO!!!!

Fan Girls (and Boys): -pounce on Sasuke; clothes are seen flying through the air-

--

**AN: I know, very short, very random, but I felt like doing something with Team 7 today, just because. Maybe cuz I'm saving all my Team 10 ideas for this oneshot I'm writing right now XD look for it soon! It's gonna be good, with a load of humor as well! Well thanks for reading and please review!**


	27. Mission: Rescue Temari! Part 4

**AN: Wow, this is delayed. But I had to get it out before I go on vacation tomorrow. So don't expect anything until next weekend at the earliest. Oh, and sorry to DC. He said he was dying for the next chapter for "Team Rescue Temari." I, being the witty author that you have come to know and love, told him that if he died then he wouldn't be able to read this. :D We all know I've been hanging out with Shikamaru far too much, and have become a smart-ass. Actually I've always been like this. It runs in the family. XD So here it is!!!**

**Dedication: Stalker-sama, yet again. Duh, this mission is for him!! Oh, and a slight dedication to DC as well, for letting me use him and for all the support and stuff.**

**Disclaimer: Now, repeat after me. "Aki-chan does not own Naruto."**

"…"

**Hey!!! A little bit of responsiveness would be nice here! Thanks guys! XD**

**

* * *

**

**With Aki and Haru **

Aki: -standing in front of a Korean barbeque place- Hmm, this place seems alright I guess.

Haru: Yeah, I'm sure Shikamaru and Ino will like it, knowing how much they go there with Chouji and stuff.

Aki: Hey, that reminds me!! I have a mini mission to accomplish. –whips out cell phone and dials a familiar number-

**With Ino and Shikamaru**

Shika and Ino: -laying on bed fully clothed and panting-

-Ino's cell phone rings, playing the song _Umbrella_ by Rihanna-

Shika: -groans and grabs a pillow and places it over head to muffle sound- Pick up that troublesome phone already!

Ino: …fine…-reaches over and grabs phone without looking at caller ID- Hello?

_Aki: Hey Ino-chan!!!_

Ino: -eyes widen as she sits up- Aki-chan?

_Aki: Yep! So whatcha doing? Haru and I found a place to eat, and I need you to get the others!_

Ino: …Um…nothing much. I'll, uh, go tell Shika-kun and Michael right away!

_Aki: Suuure you were doing 'nothing much.' _

Ino: -sighs and looks over to Shika's now-sleeping form- Fine, you got me. Shika-kun and I had some fun while you and Haru were gone and Michael was moping in his room…

_Aki: -screeching- HAD SOME FUN?!?!?! –sad tone- How could you betray me like this, Ino-chan. _

Ino: Aki—

_Aki: I mean, if you were going to do it, atleast let me be there to see it!_

Ino: Well, I was going to apologize, and tell you that we didn't have sex, but did other _things,_ but not after what you just said.

_Aki: Fine, then you can just stay there and not eat at all. I won't tell you about the great place Haru and I found to eat at, and I won't write any more ShikaIno either._

Ino: You wouldn't…!

_Aki: Come on, this is me we're talking about!_

Ino: …Ok, geez, I'm sorry! I'll go get the others! Just tell me the direction and we'll be there soon!

_Aki: Great! It's the Korean barbeque place, so just head straight down the road outside the hotel for about a half mile and it'll be on you right!_

Ino: That's it?

_Aki: Yep, see ya Ino! –hangs up-_

Ino: -closes phone- That girl is evil!

Shika: -yawns and pats mouth with hand- And annoying.

Michael: -barges into the room- She's evilly annoying!

Shika and Ino: o.O What are you doing in here?

Michael: Uh…I heard the phone ring? Yeah, that's it! I heard the phone ring and thought it was Aki-chan, so I woke up and waited outside until just a few moments ago!

Shika: -disbelieving tone- Sure, Michael.

Ino: Whatever, let's just drop it. Aki-chan says to meet her at the Korean Barbeque place down the road. I think Shika-kun and I have been there before, so just follow us.

Everyone: -head out to meet Aki and Haru-

**At Korean Barbeque Place**

Aki: -waving frantically- Guys, over here, over here!

Everyone but Aki: -rolls their eyes at her foolishness-

Haru: -whispering- Aki-neechan, sit down! You're drawing too much attention to us again!

Aki: -whispering back- I can damn well do whatever the hell I want Haru! I'm the adult here, not you!

Haru: -crosses arms and looks away, pouting-

Michael, Ino, and Shika: -make their way over to the table where Aki and Haru are-

Ino: See, I told you we've been here before!

Michael: -looking down at table fixed in concentration-

Aki: -places hand on his shoulder comfortingly- Stalker-sama, is everything alright?

Michael: -looks up at Aki- I just have this weird feeling, like that the person who captured Temari is close by!

Shika: I know the feeling. We all experience on missions such as these where we are looking for a target.

Ino: -nods head in agreement-

Haru: -tries to distract Michael from his thoughts- Hey, look, the food is here!

Aki: Finally! Let's dig in!

**-30 Minutes Later-**

Ino: Oh, I'm so stuffed I feel bigger than Chouji!

Shika: Don't turn anorexic on me now!

Aki: Seriously, because you're so skinny and beautiful the way you are! –smiling a little t_oo_ brightly-

Haru: -looking at sister confusedly- Aki-neechan, are you all right?

Michael: Wait, Aki-chan, how much did you have to drink?

Aki: -giggles- Only…-counts in fingers- 5 sakes! Why?

Michael: Aki-chan, you know that your tolerance is only 3!

Shika: -groans- Ugh, remember last time she got drunk?

Ino: Ew, yes! She thought that Shino and Kiba were me and Shikamaru and forced them under the mistletoe and made them make out!

Everyone: -shudders at the memory-

Aki: -blinks confusedly- I…I not drunk. I just a little…tipsy is all!

Shika: -sighs- Good thing I brought this just in case something like this would happen…-reaches into one of the many pockets on his chunin vest and pulls out a small bottle with blue pills in it- These instantly cure drunkenness. It's a new Nara clan product.

Ino: Shika-kun, I thought Aki had all our stuff ready and we left immediately! So why would you have those?

Shika: Uh, um…

Haru: Just spit it out!

Shika: Fine! The guys were going to have a few drinks and these were just in case anyone got drunk.

Michael: Give me the bottle! –grabs it from Shika; opens lid and pops out 2 pills- Here, Aki-chan, take these! I don't think any of us can take you being drunk any longer.

Aki: -whining- But Stalker-saaamaaaa! Live a little, have some fun! Here, have some of my sake!

Shika and Ino: -exchange amused glances-

Haru: Aki-neechan, you're being a really bad role model, and I know how much you hate that!

Aki: But Haru, Mom is always saying how conservative and opinionated I am, and I'm finally more like you! Aren't ya happy?

Haru: I knew Mom shouldn't have yelled at her for being so opinionated!

Michael: Listen, Aki, please do it! Not only for me and Haru, but for Shikamaru!

Aki: Shika-kun? –glances over to Shika-

Michael: Yeah! –offers her pills again-

Aki: -grabs pills- Alright, for Shika-kun! –downs them both in one swallow with some water-

Haru: Aki?

Aki: -looking around, confused- What? Hey, what just happened? All I remember is the food arriving and then…it's just a blur…

Ino: How do I say this…? Alright, you got drunk Aki!

Aki: Oh shit, I did?

Everyone except Aki: Yes!

Aki: Oh –scratches side of face- Sorry guys. Hope I didn't cause too much trouble.

Shika: Not as much as at the Christmas party.

Everyone: -shivers at the memory-

Aki: Okay, so if we're done, we had better get back to the hotel. –places some cash on the table and stands up-

Everyone: -leaves restaurant-

Aki: Okay, I'm having the same feeling that Stalker-sama just had! Wait, my author senses tell me to look, over there! –points to across the street of the restaurant where a clothes store is-

A black-cloaked figure: -holding up red silk fabric- Hmm, I think this would suit Temari-chan well.

Aki: OMG I think it's the culprit!

Haru: -shifty eyes-

Michael: What are we waiting for?! Let's get him! –sprints across the street and almost gets run over by a cart-

Aki: WAIT!!!! –takes off after Michael-

Cloaked figure: -sees Michael, mumbles a curse, and sprints in other direction-

Shika: Great, a chase.

Ino: I know, I know, troublesome!

Aki: Kage Mane no Jutsu!!! –traps cloaked figure in shadow possession-

Haru: -gapes- How does she know that?

Shika: -grumbles- Because she forced me to teach it to her…

Shika, Ino, and Haru: -run over to Aki and Michael who are holding down the cloaked figure-

Cloaked Figure: Aki-chan, SMGstring, get off me now!

Aki: Is it…-removes hood from figure's head-

Everyone: -gasps-

Michael: DC?!

**

* * *

**

**AN: Had to cut it there because there are some major plot changes due to certain people (cough cough Michael and DC). So this will end shortly and completely different than originally planned. And not until next week because I'm going on vacation. So I hope you liked it, I know it's rushed at the end but I had to do it. Sorry. Well thanks for reading and please review! **


	28. Believe It!

**AN: Again, I am in study hall and bored to death. Oh joy. Lol Well, it's for your enjoyment. Temari mission will be updated soon. I started school again and have little time to write with all my hard, advanced courses (I'm a nerd). It's almost done, I swear! But take this until I get time to finish the other one off!**

**Dedication: To all those people that watch the English Dubbed version of Naruto. You poor, poor souls…**

**Disclaimer: Do not own anything accept for myself. Deal with it.**

Me: Ugh.

Shika: -exasperated tone- What this time?

Me: The one time I need to use the Internet, it is so SLOW!!

Shika: Why must you be so difficult?

Me: Oh shut up. I know you love me that way.

Shika: -snorts-

Me: Whatever. Now let me do my work! Geez, you just have to be so talkative, Shika-kun!

Shika: Very funny. –mumbles- at least I'm not an iceblock like Sasuke and Neji.

Me: Hey, I heard that! Neji is not an iceblock!

Shika: Why are you defending _him_?!

Me: Because he's hot. Not as hot as you, you're a total knockout as ArAshiMitArAshi put it in _Roomies_, but he is pretty damn fine. –drools-

Shika: …

Me: -suddenly snaps out of trance- Except his hair is better than mine, and he kinda looks like a girl...

Shika: O.o What is wrong with you? Now we have really gotten off topic here.

Me: This is what boredom does to me. Now, go bug Ino-chan!

Shika: Gladly…-stalks off to find Ino-

Me: I really need new friends…

Naruto: Hey Aki-chan!

Me: -looks up at sky; thinking- I meant friends that aren't extremely hyper!

Naruto: Aki?

Me: Oh, hey Naruto.

Naruto: Yeah, so I had this random feeling like I needed to go talk to you! Believe it!

Me: -sarcastic- Thank you, God.

Naruto: So, since Sasuke-teme is off being, well, a teme, wanna be my new best friend?!

Me: Uh…

Naruto: YES!!!! –grabs my hand and pulls me out from computer chair- LET'S GO, NEW BEST FRIEND AKI!!!!

Me: But my homework…

Naruto: Forget about it, homework is for smart people like Sakura-chan! Believe it!

Me: I finally understand Adam Sessler (from X-play)!

Naruto: Not that anti-believe it game-freak! Believe it is awesome! BELIEVE IT!!!

Me: NOOOO!!!!

Naruto: Believe it!

**AN: This is what happens when you give me study hall, searching through old documents and finding the beginning of this originally written 6 months ago, and X-play reviewing Naruto: Ninja Council 2. btw I love Naruto! He's one of my favorite characters! It's just that I'm making fun of the dubbed version, and, well, blame it on my weird personality. Reviews plz? **


	29. Mission: Rescue Temari! Part 5 Finale

**AN: Sorry! School's a bitch. No time to write. I'll find some time though! It'll mostly be on weekends though. Okay, so this is the final chapter of the mini-plot. –cries- I can't believe it's over! lol Major surprises on how this ends. You may not like it, but I had a discussion with my friends/partners in fanfiction crime DC and Stalker-sama and we decided what was best for this.**

**Dedicated: To Stalker-sama and DC, my friends, my teammates (you'll find out at the bottom AN), and my brothers in random! But I still pwn them in my amount of random…**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this, the whole series would be random like this, and definitely wouldn't be the giant hit it is! **

--

DC: Yes, it is I, the great DynamicChaos, also known as the Morbid Mormon!

Shika: Morbid…

Ino: Mormon…?

Michael and Aki: Don't ask.

Michael: DC!!! I least expected you to have taken Temari!

Haru: Well, actually, considering the past you've all had with fighting over Temari, it isn't that big of a surprise!

DC: Oh yeah, while I'm here trapped by my supposed _friends_ –glares at Aki and Stalker-sama-

Aki and Michael: -release DC-

DC: -holds out a wad of cash to Haru- Here's your money, for letting me know the location of Temari. I owe you one, kid.

Everyone: What?!

Michael: …Haru…h-how could you…?

Aki: Is it true, Haru? Did you really help DC?

Everyone: -stares at Haru expectantly-

Haru: -throws hands up in air- Fine! Yes! I did help DC capture that Sand Slut!!

Everyone: -gasps-

Haru: And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling Naruto freaks!

Shika, Ino, Aki, and Michael: -glares at Haru-

DC: -snickers-

Haru: And that Mormon too!

DC: Hey! Watch it, you little brat!

Shika, Ino, Aki, and Michael: -snickers-

Aki: -sad tone- Oh, Haru, how could you do this to Michael?

Haru: Because all you guys ever care about is "Ooohh, ShikaIno this! Ooohh, StalkerTema that!" It's never about Haru! All I am is…is…is a _background character_!

Everyone: -gasps-

Aki: Haru…

Haru: Let me finish! I know I said that I didn't mind being comic relief, but being a background character like I've become is…is insulting, Aki-chan! How could you?

Aki: -losing temper- Haru Sanousuke Nara! How dare you yell at me! You know what, atleast I'm bothering to let you in my stories! See, a selfish little brat! That's what you are! How dare you say that it's all my fault! I made you famous! I made you what you are today! And you treat it with no respect! Remember that first chapter you were in, you were just a fill-in character for some minor humor. But I kept you in here! I made you a regular! Hmph, I'll be damned if I let you in this again! You…you ungrateful little pain in the ass! –runs off crying-

Haru: -glares at sister's retreating form-

DC and Michael: Aki-chan, wait! –look at each other and point- This is all your fault!

DC: Mine?!

Michael: Yes yours! If you hadn't stolen Temari, we wouldn't be here!

Shika: Um, guys…

DC: Yeah, well if you had just admitted that you were having relationship troubles with Temari and let me have her, then we wouldn't be here and Aki-chan and Haru wouldn't be fighting like this!

Ino: …guys…

Haru: -still glaring at Aki's now disappeared form-

DC and Michael: -fighting-

Shika and Ino: GUYS!!!

DC and Michael: -stop fighting to look over at Shika and Ino-

Shika: Shouldn't we go get Aki, because she's run pretty far.

DC: Shit…

Michael: Come on, let's go!!! –grabs DC by the arm and runs off with him in tow-

Shika: I'll go with them, you go talk to Haru, Ino-chan. –takes off after DC and Michael-

Ino: Fine. –walks over to Haru begrudgingly-

Haru: -still glaring-

Ino: Haru-chan…why did you say all those things…

Haru: -_still_ glaring-

Ino: Haru?

Haru: -poofs away-

Ino: _What?!_ A shadow clone made to look like Haru! I have to go tell Aki before she does something she'll regret! –takes off sprinting in the direction everyone went-

**With Aki **

Aki: -thinking- How could Haru say all those things! –keeps running- Wait, what's that? I think I sense…sense _Temari_ somewhere near! –runs over to nice house and kicks door open- Temari! Temari!!

-a muffled noise is heard upstairs-

Aki: Temari! Don't worry, I'm coming! –sprints up stairs and stealthily opens door to reveal Temari lounging on a bed watching television-

Temari: Oh, Hahahahahah!!! This show is hilarious!!! –rolling around on the bed laughing her arse off-

Aki: -opens door all the way- Temari!

Temari: -looks over to doorway with surprised expression- _Aki?_

**With Stalker, DC, and Shika**

DC: Where did she go?

Michael: Damn, I never knew she could run that fast!

Shika: And you call yourselves her teammates…

Everyone: -stops suddenly-

Shika: I sense a large chakra coming fast!

Everyone: -gets into battle positions-

Ino: -runs in- Guys!

Everyone: Ino?

Ino: Yes, OMG I have huge news!

Michael: What?

Ino: That Haru back there was a shadow clone transformed to look like him!

Everyone: -gasps-

Ino: I know! We have to go tell Aki!

Everyone: -sprints away-

**With Temari and Aki**

Aki: Is it really you, Temari?

Temari: -sweating- Uh, hey Aki! –thinking- Oh shit…

Aki: Thank God I found you! Now it's time to bust you outta this joint! –extends hand to her- Come on!

Temari: I'm afraid I can't let you do that…-trails off darkly-

Aki: -confused expression- Alright, now WTF is going on here—

-cut off my noise coming from closet of room-

Aki: What's that? –steps toward closet-

Temari: It's nothing!

Aki: Like hell it's nothing! –walks over to closet door- Something's going on and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it! –opens door to reveal Haru tied up with tape on mouth-

Temari: No!

Aki: Haru?

Haru: Mmph! –translated to: Aki!-

Aki: What the hell?! Wait, Temari, I—

Temari: -sprints from room-

Aki: Damn her! –shakes fist- Oh, Haru, let me untie you!

Haru: Mmm!

Aki: -rips tape off Haru's mouth-

Haru: OUCH!!!

Aki: Sorry…

Haru: It's alright. But we have to go stop Temari!

Aki: -starts to untie Haru- Wait, before we go, you have to explain what happened!

Haru: Alright…

**With Temari**

Temari: Ha! Those troublesome siblings will never catch me now!

-stops suddenly-

Temari: I sense…oh shit!

DC, Michael, Ino, and Shika: -run in-

Michael: Temari?

Temari: Mimi-chan?

Michael: WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT YOU CALLING ME THAT!! Wait, Temari-chan!!!

Temari: -eyes widen and runs over to DC and hides behind him-

Shika: Ok, now WTF is going on here?

Aki and Haru: -run in-

Aki: I need to tell you guys something!

Temari: No you don't!

Haru: DC, make that sand thing shut up and let Aki talk!

DC: Sorry, Temari-chan, can you please stop?

Temari: Fine. Only for you, DC-kun.

DC: -puts piece of tape on her mouth-

Ino: Now I'm _really _confused.

Aki: Well, let's start at the beginning! Throughout this entire mission, Haru wasn't with us!

Michael: What?

Aki: It was a shadow clone, transformed to look and act like Haru! It was really a clone on Temari!

Shika: No!

Ino: Shika-kun and I would have sensed it!

Haru: There's where you're wrong! Temari is a very skilled kunoichi and was able to hide it from you because you trust her!

Michael: Ok...but why?

Aki: Well, according to what Haru overheard from Temari is that you and Temari were having some problems. Is this true?

Michael: Well, uh, yeah…

Haru: So she captured me, made a shadow clone to look like me, made the shadow clone help DC get the real Temari, and then we're back to the beginning!

Shika: Alright, I think it's time to see what Temari has to say…

DC: -takes tape off Temari's mouth-

Temari: -grumbles and crosses arms- Okay, I admit it! I sent the shadow clone transformed to look like Haru! Michael-kun, I'm so sorry, but DC and I have always had a connection, and through our time alone together I realized how strong it is. The fact is…I love DC!

Everyone: -gasps-

DC: Is this really happening? –gets down on knees- Thank you Mormon God!!!

Michael: -nods his head, understanding- It's alright, Temari-chan, you don't need to explain anymore. I get it now.

Temari: Oh, Michael, there will always be a place in my heart that loves you. It's just more of a…friend love. So, can we still be friends?

Michael: Of course! And just to tell you, I felt it wasn't working out between us, and I've fallen for another girl, so I'm kinda glad this all happened!

Aki: Oh Stalker-sama –wipes tears from eyes- this whole trip was a waste, and you know it. I'm so sorry I've wasted your time, everyone! I was trying to do something nice for one of my best friends in the fanfiction world, and it blew up in my face.

Michael: Don't worry about it, Aki-chan! It sure was a very…_interesting_ adventure!

Ino: Yeah, and I think Shika-kun and I have gotten closer! –hugs Shika-

Shika: Troublesome.

Aki: Eh, I guess it worked out for someone. Well, I guess we had better get going!

DC: Why are you leaving so soon? Temari-chan and I could show you around and put you up in a nice room at the Kazekage Tower! Right, Temari?

Temari: Of course, anything for the people that finally gave me a pairing that won't get me killed!

Aki: So sorry, I'd love to stay, but I've got another mission to fulfill!

Shika: Already? Troublesome…

Aki: The mission to find Stalker-sama's new love!

Michael: Really, Aki-chan?

Shika and Ino: Oh shit…do we--

Aki: Yes, Shika-kun and Ino-chan. You will be accompanying us.

Michael: Thanks Aki-chan. Now, we just have to head back to Konoha to restock, and then we can be off!

Aki: Alright, Team Find Stalker-sama's True Love, let's go!

Haru: Oh no, not a stupid name like you always come up with!

Team: -walks off into sunset grumbling about how cliché this is-

Aki: -jumps into air and punches it- HELL YEAH!!!

**AN: You just gotta love how I make fun of the cliché stuff. I'm cool like that. XD So about that team thing with DC and SMG and me. Well, DC, Stalker-sama, and I, through many conversations in our forum Insanity of Konoha (moderated by DC and staffed by SMG and me) have come to the idea of joining forces and producing a madly-skilled and random ninja team! This team will carry over to our fanfictions. And, drum roll please, our sensei is…CHUCK NORRIS!!! XDDD so anyways, look out for that. Now, I hope you liked this mini-plot. It's over. If you wanna know who SMG's new love will be, and how we get her, you'll have to check out Stalker-sama's Thoughts Alive! It's SMGstring's story. Yeah. lol. Thanks for reading and, as always, please review! It's not only for me, but for DC and Stalker-sama as well!**

**PS this is a long AN, and I added this to make it longer. **


	30. Haru Style Special! Flower Shop Blues

**Aki AN: OMG CHAPTER 30!!! And what better to have for chapter 30 than an installment written completely by Haru! Alright, now remember, he doesn't have the madd skillz at writing and random, like I do, so just deal. Now I'll hand this over to Haru.**

**Haru AN: Sup guys, and/or girls, I just wanna thank you for making me so popular and hope you enjoyed all of Aki's stories so far. Fan girls, keep cheering on for me (Aki AN: oh god…) and my phone number is—**

**Aki AN: Haru! This is a professional AN! Now, get to the point already!**

**Haru: Fine. Enjoy my story...or else. Oh, and GO RAVENS!! (as in the football team).**

**Dedication: To my millions of fan girls (Aki: Pft.)**

**Disclaimer: I know I don't own Naruto you n00bs! (Aki: Sorry bout Haru guys…)**

**

* * *

**

**In Yamanaka Flower Shop**

Sakura: OMG Sasuke's returned!!!

Shika and Ino: -making out on couch in back of flower shop-

Sakura: HELLO!!! You here?!

Ino: -pulls herself away from Shika- Yes, Sakura…

Sakura: FLOWERS!! NOW!!!!

Ino: Kay. You need to stop liking that emo freak (Aki note: No offense to emo people, I love them, my best friend's emo). I mean, there's others!

Sakura: Whatever! Wait, is that _Shikamaru_?!

Ino: Yes, uh…here. Go. Now!

**-30 Seconds Later-**

Ino: -settles back on couch next to hair tie-less Shikamaru- Now, where were we.

Shika: Here. –grabs Ino and starts passionately making out with her…again-

Naruto: INO!!! Where's Sakura?!

Ino: -pulls herself away from Shika…again- Hospital. Now, GO!

Naruto: Okay, BYE!!!

Ino: Finally that's done. –goes over to couch…again…and starts making out with Shika…again…again-

Inoichi: -shouting from upstairs- BREAK'S OVER INO!!!

Ino: -screams in frustration-

* * *

**Haru AN: Uh, reviews plz?**

**Aki AN: Sorry it's so short. Another chapter, by me, should be posted soon!**


	31. Waiting Room Troubles: SECURITY!

**AN: This is what waiting in an Orthodontist's office does to me…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.**

**Dedication: To everyone out there that has ever been sitting in a waiting room for what seems like forever. I think that's just about all of us. **

**Note: Just in case someone doesn't know, an orthodontist is the dentist that gives you braces and retainers and stuff. Yeah, that guy.**

* * *

Aki: OMG!! I can't take this anymore!

Haru: -exasperated tone- What now?

Aki: It's taking the orthodontist forever to see you! Damn those rotten kids who can't take care of their braces!

Everyone in Waiting Room: -stares at Aki and Haru-

Haru: Aki! Keep it down! You're embarrassing me, neechan!

Aki: Too bad! –strolls up to front desk-

Secretary: -adjusts glasses- Yes? –annoyed-

Aki: Take my freakin brother in NOW!!! OR ELSE!!!

Secretary: O.O Ooookaaay, that's it, I'm calling security. –presses red button under desk-

Haru: -slaps forehead- Not AGAIN!! –sigh- What a—

Shika: Drag. Why do I have to get a stupid mission like being an orthodontist's security—AKI?!?!

Aki: Shika-kun!! –all smiles-

Shika: Oh no, what did you do _this_ time? …Troublesome.

Aki: -sigh- Haru's appointment was over an hour ago, and they still haven't taken him in!

Haru: -sinks low in his chair as everyone looks at him-

Aki: So I went up to the front desk and gave that old lady a piece of my mind, so like the bitch she is she called security, and here you are!

Shika and Haru: What a drag.

Secretary: Nara, Haru? The doctor will see you now.

Aki and Haru: You mean…? Troublesome.

Shika: Uh, I guess I'll be going now…-poofs away-

Aki: BYE SHIKA-KUN!!! –waving frantically and jumping up and down-

Haru: -walking into office- Troublesome sister…

* * *

**AN: The End! Well, atleast for this chapter. Many more chapters after this one I assure you. Well, nothing else to say except thanks for reading and please review!**


	32. Calculus Test CHEATER!

**AN: I've been having the math blues lately. I wrote this after I finished my test…**

**btw I'm sorry about all the short chapters lately, but hey, you're getting updates!**

**Dedication: To everyone that has suffered the perils of a good friend trying to pry math answers out of you. –sigh- It's so troublesome.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or the evil subject of Calculus.**

--

**In Classroom**

Aki: -thinking- Why oh why do I have to finish my tests early? I'm sooo bored.

Ino: -thinking- Because you're just like that with tests, I guess.

Aki: -thinking- Yeah…wait! Ino, what are you doing inside my mind?! –sneaks a peek at Ino who is looking intently at her test- How are you doing this, reading my thoughts and giving me the answers without saying them out loud?!

Ino: -thinking- New ability. Now, I need some help on number 27…

Aki: -sighs; thinking- How did I know you were gonna do this? Maybe because you did something like this in the first chunin exams!

Ino: Yep! So how 'bout it, Aki-chan?!

Aki: …no.

Ino: -thinking- WHAT?!

Aki: -thinking- I said no. I've already handed in my paper, so I have no idea what it was about.

Ino: -thinking- Damn. Well, how about I give you the question, and you figure it out on your scrap paper, then give me the answer.

Aki: -thinking- …no.

Ino: -thinking Come oooon, Aki-chan!

Aki: -thinking- Ino, you were the top kunoichi of your year level, Calculus shouldn't be that difficult for someone like you. Besides, I suck at Calculus.

Ino: -thinking- But you get A's and B's all the time! How is that 'sucking.'

Aki: -thinking- Because it takes me forever and so much effort to get those grades. Go bug Shika-kun for the answer, he's the genius.

Ino: -thinking- But Shika-kun's sleeping, and I can't communicate with a sleeping person yet!

Aki: -sigh; thinking- No.

Ino: -thinking- Please?!

Aki: -thinking- NO.

Ino: -thinking- GIVE ME THE ANSWER!!

Aki: NOOOO!!!!

Everyone in class: -stares at Aki-chan-

Aki: -shrinks in seat- Sorry…

Teacher: -sighs- Ms. Nara, please keep it down. People are trying to take the test still. –thinking- Not again…

Aki: Yes, ma'am.

Ino: -thinking- Please?

Aki: -raises hand- Excuse me, may I be excused to go to the bathroom?

Teacher: Yes. Now hurry up.

Aki: -smirks at Ino, then looks back to teacher- Thank you! –rushes out of classroom-

Ino: -mumbles to self- Damn. Oh look, Shika-kun just woke up! I'll just ask him, I know he'll give me the answer.

--

**AN: Yes, the end. Pointless, I know. But I was bored and figured as a special treat for you guys I'd write something. Well, thanks for reading and please review! I've noticed my reviews for each chapter dropping, and I know there are a lot of people that read these…**


	33. Indecisive

**AN: Don't hurt me for doing all these pointless little things!**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! How many chapters does it take to establish that?!**

**Dedication: To every writer that has had to push off their fanfiction career because of school.**

**--**

**In Study Hall…Again**

Aki: Why is it that the only time I ever have time to write is during study hall?

Ino: Because you don't love us as much as school…-pouts-

Aki: -wide-eyed- W-what?! Did Inoichi drop you on your head when you were a baby?! I HATE school!

Ino: -sighs- Whatever, Aki.

Aki: -taps chin with index finger- Hmm, what should I talk about today in RCNC?

Shika: How the hell are we supposed to know?

Aki: You know, I would think that since you're a genius and a freakin amazing strategist that you'd be able to come up with something.

Shika: But those are _battle_ strategies.

Aki: So?

Ino: -a blackboard suddenly appears behind her, with her wearing glasses and a dress-suit, holding a yardstick and pointing to the board- He means that he's great with battle stuff, but anything to do with creative writing…well, to put it simply, it sucks. He doesn't have any skill at all with anything aside from battle strategies.

Shika: -clearly offended- Hey!

Ino: -shrugs- But it's true!

Aki: -thinking- I've got an idea now…

Shika: I'll show you not having any skill but in battle! –pulls Ino to him and starts to passionately kiss her-

Ino: -responds eagerly-

Aki: -evil smirk-

-10 Minutes Later-

Aki: -looks at watch that suddenly appeared- God, how long can those two go at it?!

Shika and Ino: -are, ahem, are oblivious to Aki-

Aki: -in a deliberately too loud voice- I guess it was a great idea to use my author powers to make Shika-kun do something extremely sexy like that.

Shika and Ino: -break apart from each other suddenly breathing heavily with wide eyes-

Shika: Y-you did what?!

Aki: -with a carefree attitude- Oh, I just make you make-out with Ino. Your welcome by the way.

Shika: -rubs his temples- Troublesome.

Ino: -all smiles- Well, Aki, I guess you got your plot!

Aki: -evil glint in eyes- Oh yes…

--

**AN: Wow, so random and pointless and also making fun of the very cliché ShikaIno make-out scene. But oh god do I love that cliché scene. XD I really do like this one even though it's short an pointless. As long as I'm writing something, I'm happy! So, thanks for reading and please review!**


	34. Mission: Living Together! Part 1

**AN: Onto another exciting chapter! Yeah, only took forever. Maybe I'll be persuaded to update this more often, and possibly my other stories, if my number of reviews stops dropping…**

**Disclaimer: -sigh- Haven't we established that I don't own Naruto yet?**

**Dedication: To DC, SMG, and Haru. My brothers, both figuratively and non-figuratively, in random. Oh yeah, and to my sister in random: sharingan999!!! She's a year 7 in my school of random! (Think Hogwarts, except random; she's top class)**

**In Aki's Living Room**

Aki: Is it just me, or is something just not right about this situation?

DC: -breaks away from making out with Temari on the chair next to the sofa that Aki's on- I think everything is perfect.

Temari: -pulls DC back-

Michael: -stares disgustedly at DC and Tema- I agree with you, Aki-chan.

Aki: -sigh- I knew taking that break before we go and find your love was a bad idea, especially because we invited DC and Temari to stay with us.

Haru: It's all your doing, Aki-chan. I mean, you invited them over.

Aki: Hey, I had to! DC's my teammate!

Haru: But you didn't have to let him and his girlfriend live with us until they get a place of their own in Konoha!

Michael: By the way, thanks for letting me stay here while my house is being fumigated. I knew I should have never thrown a party and invited Shino.

Aki: Hey, no problem! Anything for my "brother!"

Haru: What about me?

Aki: What about you?!

Michael: Oh god…

Aki: Don't worry, we stopped doing that "Nuh-uh, Uh-huh" after that mission.

Michael: Thank god!

Haru: -looks over at DC and Tema- Hey, uh, don't you think we should break DC and Temari up before things get out of hand?

Aki and Michael: Good idea. –stand up-

Aki: -walks over to Tema and DC with Haru and Michael following- Alright, on three.

Haru: One

Michael: Two

Aki: Three!

Haru, Michael, and Aki: -pulls Temari off DC-

DC and Temari: Hey!

Aki: We had to do it.

Michael: Or else Haru would have been seeing stuff his young mind should not be seeing.

Haru: Yeah. Speaking of things I shouldn't see, where are all of the Naruto crew?

Aki: Well, Shika-kun and Ino-chan should be coming over any minute now. They had a meeting with the Hokage about a mission debriefing.

Haru: Oh.

Temari: I doubt they'll be on time, knowing Nara.

DC: Agreed.

Michael: Oh, you didn't even see what they did while traveling on that mission to find you, Temari.

Temari: I think I'm afraid to know.

DC: From what Aki told me, you would be.

Everyone: -shivers-

-Doorbell rings-

Aki: Well let me guess who it is –walks over to door and opens it-

Chouji: Hey, Aki-chan! –looks past Aki's shoulder and waves to other occupants of room- DC, Michael, Haru, Temari.

Everyone: Hey, Chouji!

Aki: Uh, Chouji, what're you doing here?

Chouji: I have news from Shikamaru and Ino.

Everyone: -looks at Chouji expectantly-

Aki: How about you come in. –leads him to sofa across from where Aki, Haru, and Michael are sitting now-

DC: My Mormon powers tell me something is wrong.

Temari: -shifts in DC's lap- My wind powers also say something is not right.

Chouji: Well, you're both right. Shikamaru and Ino have, er, fallen _ill_.

Haru: Ill?!

Aki: Oh no, it's not what I think it is…

Chouji: Um, well, they told me not to say but if you guess right then I guess that'd be okay…

Michael: Did they get Mono?!

Chouji: No, but you're on the right track…

DC: Um…

Temari: How about…

Haru: An STD!

Everyone: -busts out laughing-

Aki: Nah!

Chouji: Uh…

Aki: No way!

Michael: Do you mean…?

Chouji: No no no! It's not that! Ino's…

DC: Ino's what?

Temari: Come on, just tell us!

Michael: Yeah, Chouji, come on!

Chouji: -shakes head-

Haru: Grrr! I need to know!

Aki: Is Ino…pregnant?!

Chouji: -nods head and wallows in shame of letting out the secret-

Everyone: -gasps-

Aki: -shouting- YES!!!! I'm going to be an aunt!! XDDD

Haru: Whooo! The Nara name lives on!

DC: -shakes head- I can't believe it.

Aki: …but wait I second…

Haru: Oh no…

Aki and Haru: -look at each other- INO AND SHIKAMARU AREN'T MARRIED!!!!!

Michael: So? Plenty of women get pregnant and aren't married.

Temari: -looks at DC- If that happens to me, DC, I swear on your Mormon God that you will never even be able to think of the word sex without getting into the fetus position!!

Haru: Did Temari just…?

Aki: …Make a pun?!

Temari: -blushes- Whoops! No pun intended! –waves hands in front of face-

Everyone: Phew!

Chouji: That's why this was a secret, but they all knew you'd find out. A best friend just knows.

DC: So, how're they doing now?

Chouji: Um…

Aki: Let me guess, they were so overjoyed that once they told you and you told them about the not married thing, something shattered in the background in their change of mood like all great anime.

Chouji: Nailed it right on the head.

Michael: So, I think we've all gotten over the fact that there are going to be troublesome Nara-Yamanaka children running around soon. So, Chouji, any other earth-shattering news?

Chouji: …well…

Everyone: -realization dawns on them- INO GOT KICKED OUT OF HER HOUSE!!!

Chouji: -sighs- Why are you guys so smart today?

Aki: Because my randomness of making everyone smart pwns all.

Everyone: O.o

Haru: So…

Chouji: They want to move in with you, Aki.

Haru: -slams his head into the coffee table- More guests? Mom's gonna kill you when she gets back from the Pirates of the Caribbean universe, Aki.

Aki: -glares at sibling- That's why we won't tell her, and we'll get Ino and Shikamaru their own apartment before then!

Haru: She gets back in 21 days!

Aki: Great. Everyone!

Everyone: -looks at Aki expectantly-

Aki: Our search for finding Stalker-sama's true love will be pushed off until after my Mom gets back. Until then, we'll be on another mission.

Everyone except Chouji: -groans-

Aki: The mission to find Shikamaru and Ino an apartment!

Chouji: W—

Aki: And that includes you to, Chouji. You and Temari are taking their places from last time.

Chouji and Temari: -groan-

Aki: I believe this meeting is adjourned, and now it's time to find Ino as she gets kicked out of her house by a pissed off Inoichi!!

--

**AN: Wow, this turned away from where I was originally going so far that this is a whole new plot!! I hope you all will enjoy it! If you wanna get me off my lazy ass to write the next and final chapter of this, review! This is 6 pages in Word! Done rant. But for now, thank you all for reading!!**


	35. Mission: Living Together! Part 2

**AN: See, I'm really putting effort into updating this sooner, especially because of the response I got from you readers. You don't have to have an account to review, and I see that some of you are doing just that: reviewing even though you don't have an account. Anyways, this chapter could have been sooner, but I've started to get into Harry Potter fanfiction, at first some good old RonxHermoine, but lately some LupinxTonks. I'd have to say the latter is my favorite. It's pretty similar to ShikaIno: Lupin's cautious like Shika, and Tonks is vocal and pushy and emotional, like Ino! lol**

**Dedication: Same as last chapter: DC, Stalker-sama, Haru, and Kiyo-chan (sharingan999). I love you guys!! ooo and to my special guest too! You'll find out soon enough.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto…I don't know what I'd do. lol**

**Note: DC and Temari eloped sometime between the end of the Rescue Temari mission and last chapter. It would be contradicting DC's very **_**strong Mormon faith**_** if he had sex before marriage. XD**

--

**At a Random Office Somewhere in Konoha**

_-ring-ring-_

Teenaged girl sitting at a desk: -stares at phone imploringly- Hmm, wonder who's calling at this hour? I just opened up! –picks up phone- Hello?

_Aki: Felicia? Is this your office?_

Felicia: Aki!!! Duh, of course this is my office, that's why we're speaking.

_Aki: Um…Okaaay. Anyways, look there's a slight crisis and I feel we're going to need your help..._

Felicia: -wide eyed- A crisis?! OMG what is it?!

_Aki: I can't tell you on the phone, but don't worry, just meet me outside the Yamanaka Flower Shop in about an hour and I'll fill you in._

Felicia. …Fine. See you then!

_Aki: Bye, and thanks!_

Felicia: No problem, bye! –hangs up phone- YES!!! I have a feeling I'm going to be helping Shikamaru and Ino today!

**With The Gang**

Haru: What was that about?

Aki: Just calling on an old friend for some help.

Michael: Help on…?

Aki: -smirks- Oh, you'll see. Now, we gotta go! –sprints out the door-

Chouji: Hey! Wait up, Aki-chan! –runs after her-

Haru: Grr, I hate running…-follows-

Michael, DC, and Temari: -look at each other-

Temari: I don't know about you, but I'm transporting myself to the Yamanaka house.

Michael and DC: Right with you.

Michael, DC, and Temari: -poof away-

**With Aki, Haru, and Chouji**

Aki: -panting- We're…here…!

Haru: -bent over and holding his knees-…Why'd…you have…to run…?

Aki: -finally caught her breath- Because that's what always happens in cliché, and to make fun of it, I had to sprint off to my, dundundun, _destination!_

Chouji: …I really regret telling Aki about this.

Haru: -snickers-

Aki: Hey!

Temari: -looking at her nails and leaning casually against the wall of the Yamanaka home- Hmm, see you finally made it here.

DC: Took you long enough.

Aki: -shocked- How the hell did you guys get here so fast?!

Michael: We used the transportation jutsu. Nice use of making fun of cliché though, Aki-chan.

Aki: -glaring and rolls up her sleeves that have just miraculously appeared- Why I oughta…!

Haru and Chouji: -grab Aki by the arms and prevent her from attacking the trio of common sense users-

Michael: Don't we have a mission to execute?

Aki: -calms down- Yeah. But we gotta give it, I'd say, about 30 more seconds before we can execute.

_-CRASH-_

Inoichi's voice: _HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY DAUGHTER?!?!?!?!_

The Gang: O.o

Aki: …wow. Even I didn't see that coming.

Chouji: -sighs- That's Inoichi-san for you.

_-door slams open-_

Ino and Shika: -come out of house shocked-

Inoichi: -weeping- Oh, baby, how could you let him do this to you?

Ino: B-but Daddy, I thought you'd be happy—

Inoichi: Happy that that lazy ass _touched you_?! It was hard enough consenting to you dating, but _this_…!

Ino: -face is hidden-

Everyone: -backs away slowly-

Ino: HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD?! I'M 21, OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS, DAMMIT!!!

Inoichi: -finally enraged at his own precious daughter- DON'T DISRESPECT YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT! AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER MY HOUSE, IT'S MY RULES!

Ino: I'M AN ADULT, I FOLLOW MY OWN RULES!!!!

Shika: -smartly not adding at all to the argument-

Inoichi: WELL THEN YOU CAN JUST MOVE OUT THEN!!!

Ino: -gasps-

Aki: -smirks- Hahaha, I knew it! Temari, you owe me 20 bucks!

Temari: Why? We didn't bet or anything?

Aki: I'm the author, so give it to me!

Temari: -grumbling- Fine, only because I know you'd do something irrational if you didn't get it. -hands over the money-

Aki: -takes it with all smiles-

Ino: But I have no place to go!

Inoichi: -finally cooled down and is ashamed- Go live with…with the father of your child, then.

Shika: -finally decides to speak- Um, that's not possible. Mom kicked me out last month, and I've been crashing at Chouji's. I'm only allowed to stay there until I find an apartment…

Ino: -glares at Shika- You didn't tell me that?!

Shika: -sweating profusely- Ugh…I forgot?

Ino: -melts on front porch- Now what am I gonna do? I though you were reliable, Shikamaru, and…and…Daddy!!! –wailing-

Haru: Ooooo, I see the mood swings of pregnancy are setting in.

Chouji: No, that's just Ino.

Haru: -sweatdrops-

Daddy: -suppressing tears- I'm sorry, baby, but you'll just have to find your own apartment. As you said, you're an adult. –sniffles- Just go on, don't break my heart any more!

Ino: -crying- Daddy!!!

Shika: O.o Um, okay, we'll stop by and visit another time. Let's go, Ino. –drags her away-

Inoichi: -takes one last look at Ino- Goodbye… -closes door-

Temari: Well that was…sentimental.

DC and Michael: Yep.

Haru: Why must I be around such mood swingy people all the time? –looks between Aki and Ino-

Chouji: Welcome to my hell.

Aki: -ignores them- Shika-kun!!! Ino-chan!!!! –waves hands frantically-

Shika: -looks up to sky and asks the gods what he has done to deserve this- Yes, Aki?

Aki: Oh, you'll just love me for this…

Everyone: Here she goes…

Shika: -exasperated tone- What, Aki?

Aki: I'm gonna help you get a house for you and Ino and your baby!!!

Shika: -lets go of Ino's arm-

Ino: -falls to the ground- What the hell, Shikamaru?!

Shika: -points at Aki, shocked-

Ino: Oh, sorry. Hey, Aki-chan?!

Everyone: O.o –thinking- It took her that long to notice us?

Ino: You know I can read your minds, right? And no, I noticed you all before. I just wanted to try being the stereotypical dumb blonde everyone makes me out to be. It sucks by the way.

Everyone: -sighs in relief-

Ino: Sooo, really, Aki-chan?! You're going to help us?!

Aki: Duh! Of course, you guys are my best friends!

Ino: -runs over to Aki; teary eyed- Thank you so much, Aki-chan! And…I want you to be the godmother!

Aki: -gasps-

Shika: B-but we never—

Aki: -glomps Ino- THANK YOU INO-CHAN!!!! OMG I'LL BE THE BEST GODMOTHER EVER!!!

Ino: I KNOW YOU WILL!!! –glomps Aki back-

Everyone: -sweatdrops-

Chouji: Don't say it, Haru, I feel your pain of hyper people.

Haru: Word.

Everyone: -stops what they were doing and glare at Haru- What have we told you about saying that?!

Haru: …Whoops. –sarcastic- My bad.

Aki: -back to Ino- Ino-chan, I'm really happy about your child. You and Shika-kun are so lucky. I'll be here whenever you need me.

Ino: -wipes tears from eyes- You're the best, Aki-chan!

Michael: Um, Aki-chan, you can stop making yourself some hero now and get on with the plot.

Aki: I know! I was just waiting for someone to say something! Here, you get a cookie!

Michael: -accepts cookie gratefully- Thanks! –munches on cookie-

DC: But oh-so-random sister Aki, why don't I get one?

Aki: -sigh- Here, you get one too, but it's not as big as Stalker-sama's…

DC: Hey—

Felicia: -poofs on scene- Damn, missed the flower shop by a few steps. I need to work on my transportation jutsu…

Aki: -overjoyed- Felicia-chan!!

Felicia: -thinking- That was lucky –out loud- Hey, Aki-chan! Wow, and Michael, DC, Temari, Haru, and…SHIKAMARU AND INO!!!!!!!!

Shika: Who's…

Ino: …that?

Aki: Shika-kun, Ino-chan…this is your real estate agent Felicia! Better known as x0x here on fanfiction!

Shika and Ino: -faint-

Kiyo: -poofs in- What'd I miss?

Haru: I-it's…-faint-

Aki: -fanning Shika and Ino; looks up to Kiyo- Don't worry, Little Sis, Shika-kun and Ino-chan will be okay. They weren't ready for the utter random I had in store for them.

DC, Michael, and Temari: O.o

Chouji: I believe if Shikamaru and Ino were conscious, they'd say "How troublesome."

--

**AN: Mendokuse, I know this was supposed to be it, but random took hold again. Next time will be the last time, I promise. Sorry for the inconvenience. And sorry for the influx of characters. I'll try to keep it down to me, Haru, and maybe one guest at the most. Thanks to x0x (Felicia-chan) for the idea of the real estate agent! It's handy. And Kiyo-chan, I promise you'll have a bigger part next time. **


	36. Death Note

**AN: Yo, minna-san. Sorry this has taken so long. I'll get to work on finishing the other saga ASAP!! I've become obsessed with Death Note. There will be a special appearance from one of the characters, as well as some spoilers for Death Note. The year is 2012 (You'd understand if you followed Death Note). The Death Note character is 23, and Shika, Ino, and me are 21.**

--

**In the Streets of Konoha**

Aki: -walking down the street with an unidentifiable male on her arm- Hehehe, Shikamaru, Ino!

Shika and Ino: -look across the street to Aki- ? –thinking- Aki? And who's…

Aki: -waving- Come over here!

Shika: -sighs- Oi, troublesome woman, we're coming.

Shika and Ino: -arrive by Aki-

Ino: -stares at Aki's companion with a glint in her eye- Ooohh, who's this? –teasing tone-

Aki: -smirks- This is my husband, Yagami Light.

Shika and Ino: -shocked- WHAT?!

Shika: -wide eyed- Isn't he the main character from Death Note?!

Ino: And doesn't he die in the end?!

Light: -chuckles at their lack of information- Aki-chan, go on and explain.

Aki: -smiles up at him- Of course, Light-koi. –looks back to Shika and Ino seriously- Now, I understand you both are familiar with Death Note, right?

Shika and Ino: -look at each other- …Yes.

Aki: So, you know that when the shinigami Ryuk approached Light-kun in the beginning, he told him that whoever uses the Death Note shall go to neither heaven nor hell, correct?

Shika: Aki, just get to the point!

Aki: -sighs- Fine, Shikamaru. When the owner of the death note dies, they do not go to heaven or hell. They go to a different world. And the world my darling Light-kun went to was…the Naruto world!

Shika and Ino: -anime fall-

Light: Well, there were some details left out, but that's basically it. –wraps arm around Aki's waist- Well, Aki-chan, -smiles down at her- we have a reservation at the new Italian restaurant down the road. Are you done talking to your friends?

Aki: -kisses Light on the cheek- Yes, I guess so. I'll see you guys later, Shikamaru, Ino!

Ino: Wait!

Aki: -turns to look back at Ino and Shika- Huh? –innocently curious-

Ino: Is Light the reason why it's "Shikamaru," instead of "Shika-kun"? And why I'm only "Ino" now?

Aki: -smiles shyly- Well, yes. I've given up on my obsessive love for Shikamaru. He is yours. My love for him contradicts with my love for your pairing with him. Then, when I first started to follow Death Note, and I saw Light, I realized that I could have him. And I truly did love him. And when he met me in this world, –snuggles into Light's embrace- everything fell into place.

Ino: -dumbfounded- Oh. Okay.

Aki: Alright, well if you're done—

Shika: Wait!

Aki: -sigh- Please tell me this is important.

Shika: It is. As a high ranking shinobi of the Leaf, I can't let that _mass_ _murderer_ walk the streets freely.

Aki: -gasp- Shika—

Light: It's fine, Aki-chan. I'll explain. You see, because I am no longer in the Death Note world, there are no such things as death notes and shinigami and such. We abide by the rules of "Naruto." And I'm no longer my "Kira self," but rather like the real "Yagami Light."

Shika: Okay, but I'll still have to report your presence to Tsunade-sama.

Light: Understood. I would do the same in your position. Now, we really must be going. We're going to be late for the reservation, and I have a feeling that it will take some persuading to get our table. -laughs friendlily- Come, Aki-chan! –pulls Aki with him away from Shika and Ino-

Aki: -waves back at Shika and Ino- Bye, Shikamaru, Ino! –giggling- Okay, Light-kun, you can stop dragging me!

Light: -smiles- Sorry, Aki-chan.

Light and Aki: -walk off into the sunset-

Shika and Ino: -stare at their retreating forms-

Ino: Well, that was an interesting afternoon.

Shika: -glares at barely visible form of Light- I still feel like there's something not right about that guy…

Ino: -laughs- Don't tell me you're upset that your biggest fan girl has gotten herself married to her true love!

Shika: It's not that, I just feel like he's…hiding something. Not just Light, but Aki-chan as well…

Ino: You're probably just imagining things. Now, let's head back to your old house. Your parents invited us over for dinner and I don't feel like dealing with your mother because we were late.

Shika: Okay, let's go. –thinking- Hmm, maybe it is just my imagination, but…Yagami Light…don't think I've let my guard down so easily-

**At the Italian Restaurant**

Aki: -sighs happily- Oh, Light-koi, this is so nice, being out tonight.

Light: -grasps Aki's hand- It is. And as for earlier, I must say your acting skills are wonderful, _Angel_.

Aki: -laughs with a slightly maniacal glint in her eye- Yes, _Angel._ I feel that name suits me. –pulls out a piece of paper and writes something down in it-

Random guy a few booths away: -collapses of a heart attack-

Light: -laughs as his eyes flash a red-ish color- Why of course, because you are my…_Angel of Death._

Aki: And you, my darling Light-kun, are my _Death God_.

Aki and Light: -throw heads back laugh maniacally as their now red eyes flash brilliantly-

--  
_Vocabulary: (Because I've been picking up Japanese like the devil and must use it)  
__-koi: an affectionate ending for a name. I'm pretty sure it means "Love" or something of that sort. So it's like I'm saying "Light, love, "  
__minna-san: everyone._

--

**AN: Hehehe that's what happens when I'm on no Naruto and only Death Note for 48 hours. I watched 25 anime episodes and a few chapters in that period. lol If you are confused, check out Death Note! It is amazing! Don't worry, Naruto is still my number one, as is Shikamaru. But, you should know that there are 2 sides of me. The Aki you know that loves random and pointless romance, and the other that loves angst and drama and death with a darker, sultry sort of romance. lol Enough of that. I hope you enjoyed! Please review!**


	37. Oh Noes!

**AN: -is shot-**

**Dedication: My faithful readers who put up with longs bouts of non-updating.**

**Disclaimer: I dun own nuthin. **

_R_

Aki: OMGies lk this ttly rawks out LOUD that I'm updating!!!

Ino: Srsly!!!

Shika: -is confused- What are you doing?

Aki: I'm TRYING to get rid of my boredom by talking in an annoying manner, but you just had to ruin it!

Ino: Yeah!

Shika: -sighs- Fine, continue with your troublesome game.

Aki: YAYZ!! Okayz, now you gotsta do the disclaimer of d00m before I die of bore-DUM!!!

Shika: -slaps forehead- Aki is perfectly able to speak in a correct manner but is choosing not to for entertainment purposes. Please do not comment on spelling errors or grammar mistakes and the whatnot just to flame.

Aki: Thnx, deer-boy!

Ino: Yeah, dear-boy!!!

Shika: -K.O. at lame pun-

_A_

Aki: rofl

Ino: lmao

Shika: -wakes up-

Aki and Ino: ROFLMAO!!!

Shika: Are you still up to your troublesome antics?!

Aki and Ino: YEPPERS!!!

Shika: Troublesome.

Ino: NOES!!! The word is…

Aki: FUDGERMUFFINS!!!

Shika: -K.O.-

Aki: BTW fudgermuffins is my trademarked word, if you steal it you have to beware the Death Note! MWUHAHAHAHA!!!!

Light: -appears majestically- Death Note? Where?

Aki: Light-kun, go home. This RCNC chapter isn't about you.

Light: …Fine. Mean wife, I knew I should have gotten one that I could control, not one of equal evil. –poofs away-

Aki: -cackles-

_N_

Aki: -is scribbling away names of those who dared to use her word fudgermuffins in the Death Note-

Ino: -looks over her shoulder- Whatcha doin'?

Aki: Killin' ppl.

Ino: Aki!!! You knoes ur not supposed to do that without Light-kun here!

Aki: Yeah, well he's home feeding Ryuk the apples of the GAWDS!!!

Ino: Gawdly apples?

Shika: -wakes up yet again and rubs his head, trying to recall what happened-

Aki: YEAH!! And dem apples r lk uber nasty and make Ryuk spin in circles for the goooood earthly ones!!!

Shika: -K.O.-

Aki: D-mn it sure is taking less and less of my pwnsome lingo to make him get K.O.ed.

Ino: Srsly.

_D_

Aki: Srsly, wake ur bf up so we can go watch the clouds.

Ino: Noes, u do it!! He's cranky when he's woken up!!

Aki: Fine. –dumps bucket of freezing water on him-

Shika: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Mother—

Aki and Ino: SHIKA WATCH THE LANGUAGE!!!

Shika: Sry.

Aki: OMGies…

Ino: He spoked lk we r!!!

Shika: NOES!!! –K.O.-

_O_

Aki: This is getting stupid. I'm bored of this.

Ino: Yeah.

Shika: -wakes- Is it safe yet?

Aki: Yeah, I'm done with all that annoying texting/IMing lingo and all.

Ino: So that means…

Aki: TIME FOR SHIKAINO!!!

Shika: -mumbles- Finally.

Aki: But oh no! We're outta time!!

Ino and Shika: But—

Aki: Too bad, there's always next chapter! Bye!!! –poofs away-

Ino and Shika: DAMN YOU AKI!!!!!

_M_

**AN: Um…yeah. Atleast it's random, right? Lol I hope you liked it and please review? **


	38. I'm Back with Good and Bad News

**-In Aki's Bedroom of Creativity-**

Aki: Hmm it's been a seriously long while since I've bothered to write in this random story of mine.

Angel: Seriously, Aki, we were beginning to think you were dead!

Nam: If we hadn't talked on AIM I would have abandoned all hope!

Aki: -rubs back of neck sheepishly- Sorry guys, I just got into Avatar fandom with the finale coming up, not to mention all the drama outside of fanfiction…-slaps hand over moth-

Kiyo: Neechan, what problems?

Aki: Well, as you all have probably figured out by now, Stalker-sama has left fanfiction for good. And I have no idea where the heck DC went. And with their disappearances I came to be good friends with Angel… –points to her-

Angel: Hi! You may know me better as Angelgirl18647 with my own random stories!

Aki: …And Nam –points to girl standing next to Angel-

Nam: Hey! Yeppers I'm Aki-chan other friend! You all may know me as Namine94, or also as a guest character in Angel's stories along with Aki!

Aki: And this girl right next to me is my very dear friend in random, the girl I share my joint account with (Shikamaru's Shadows plug-plug)…Kiyo!!

Kiyo: Hi everyone!! –waves frantically- Aki-neechan is my big sister in randomness and all that other stuff. My own penname is sharingan999 but I can't post fics, so that's why Aki and I made a joint account so she could post mine for me, as well as write them together!!

Aki: So things are doing all right in my random friends' category. But…

Angel: Just get on with your drama story!

Nam: Because I'm really tired of all these PMs I'm getting about…

Kiyo: Shhh! Don't spoil it!

Aki: Thank you, hermanita (translation: little sister). Now, for the drama: It's about Haru.

Everyone: GASP!!

Aki: Yeah, yeah. Well if you've wondered why I haven't been writing these, its because I've had some serious character changes. DC, Stalker-sama, and Haru are done with this.

Everyone: GASP!!

Aki: Yes, I get it, a big shocker. Now, DC is MIA, Stalker-sama has officially left, and Haru is the worst of them all…

Everyone: -waits anxiously-

Aki: …he hates anime!!

Everyone: GASP!! NO WAY!!

Aki: Yes way. He hates it, he doesn't want to be a character in any stories anymore, and all the stuff Angel's been writing about him has basically been of what he used to be months before he changed. Haru has been like this since 3-4 chapters ago in RCNC, which translates to MONTHS ago.

Angel: Which is why he is no longer in my stories!

Nam: And why he can't be paired up with me!

Kiyo: Ew, people want you and little Haru together?

Nam: Yes! He's younger than me! He hates anime!

Angel: He's gone to the PREP side!!

Everyone: GASP!!

Aki: -glares- One more time and I'm quitting fanfiction.

Everyone: -shuts up-

Aki: -all smiles- Good! Thank you! So now to the true objective of this RCNC chapter…

Kiyo: Randomness?

Aki: Well, that's a given. I mean the _other_ reason!

-silence-

Aki: …to introduce my new characters!! Angel, Nam, and Kiyo are my new regulars!

Angel, Nam, Kiyo: YAY!!

Aki: Yep, and we're gonna make random history together!!

**-In Naruto World-**

Shika and Ino: -sneeze-

Shika: Oh no…

Ino: Aki's back!!

Shika and Ino: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! –run in frantic circles-

--

**AN: So here we go! I'm partly back to my RCNC story, and have new characters to help me spice this up! This is also for addressing the problem of Haru, and how popular he got in other fanfics and why he's no longer gonna be a character in them. He hates us, so he doesn't deserve to be here anymore. So that's it with him. I'll be on vacation next week, but right afterwards comes more chapters!! Thanks for your patience and continued support!!**


	39. You wanted a plot? Now you got one!

**AN: Ummm, there's the slightest spoilers for the latest chapters of Naruto in here. And it makes fun of it too.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nuthin.**

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-In Aki's Living Room of Creativity-

Aki: -running around in frantic circles- AHHHH!!

Kiyo: -mysteriously appears- What is it, my oh-so-random Big Sister?

Aki: NOES!! -continues in circles-

Angel: -appears next to Kiyo- What's with -points to the running girl- _her_?

Nam: -poofs in next to Angel- Need you ask? It's Aki.

Aki: -oblivious to this exchange as she continues her running-

Kiyo: Damn, I'm surprised she's not dizzy. Usually she can be such a klutz. Especially when it involves running, or circles.

Angel: Together truly is a catastrophic event.

Aki: -collapses-

Angel, Kiyo, and Nam: -cringe at the spirally-eyed Aki laying on the floor, barely conscious-

Nam: Yeppers, that's Aki for us.

Ino: -poofs in- My "Crazed Aki" senses were tingling so what's going...-stares at Aki on the ground- ...nevermind, I don't think I want to know.

Kiyo: -glances at Ino, then back at Aki, then back to Ino- We don't even know, I just poofed in and she was like that.

Angel and Nam: Same.

Ino: I have a feeling we need--

Shika: -poofs in-

Ino: Nevermind, he's here.

Shika: I had a feeling... -looks at Aki- ...how troublesome.

Nam: Wait, do you all have "Crazed Aki" senses?

Shika and Ino: -sigh- Unfortunately.

Kiyo: Hey! Don't be mean to my Nee-chan! Would you rather be in my fic at this moment? -smiles while glaring evilly-

Shika and Ino: NO!

Angel: Or how about mine?

Shika and Ino: -share a fearful exchange-

Nam: Or mine?

Shika and Ino: -stop-

Ino: -puts on thinking cap- Well, you haven't created torture for us like these other three have but...

Shika: ...You _are_ friends with them...

Shika and Ino: NOOOO!!

Angel, Kiyo, and Nam: -smirk evilly-

Aki: Hey! Weren't you guys supposed to be worrying about me?!

Everyone: -sweat drops-

Kiyo: Sorry, Sis, we got a bit carried away.

Aki: -mumbles- Tell me about it...

Angel: So "Queen of Random," what caused your not-so-unusual random act of running in circles?

Nam: Seriously, Aki, because you've been a bit quiet lately. We thought you were dead to the fanfic world with how little you updated.

Shika: -mumbles- Damn shame that ended...

Ino: -mumbles back- True, true...

Aki: Hey! Have you forgotten those epically awesome stories I've written for you?

Shika and Ino: -recall stories and look down in shame- Sorry, Aki.

Aki: -smirks- Good. Now, how about this story for how I was going crazy...

Kiyo: Yes! Let's hear it Aki!

Aki: Okay, so last chapter, just as I introduced my new characters and ended the old ones, I received a review--

Nam: So, reviews are good?

Aki: -glares at Nam-

Angel: Uh, Nam, maybe you should let her finish...

Nam: -rubs back of neck- Right, sorry...

Aki: As I was saying before interruption -looks pointedly at Nam- I received a review. Not just any review, but a review from an old friend...

Everyone: -waits with bated breath-

Aki: It was from Stalker-sama, AKA Michael, AKA one of the old characters I had thought I'd lost forever!

Everyone: GASP!

Ino: Does this mean your gonna bring him back and get rid of your new people?

Aki: NO!!

Everyone: -sigh of relief-

Aki: Although he will be making a guest appearance pretty soo--

Michael: -poofs in- Hi, Aki-chan!

Aki: STALKER-SAMA!!

Shika: -falls asleep-

Aki: -whacks Shika on the head before she gives a friendly hug to her old character-

Shika: Ouch, woman!

Kiyo, Angel, and Nam: -whack him on the head-

Ino: -massages temples because of Shika's antics- And you call _me_ the troublesome one...

Michael: -lets go of Aki- So how has my favorite random writer been?

Aki: Swamped with crap to do, just as you have.

Michael: -sighs- Life is so vexing...

Aki: But I have matured a bit, you know, less with the perverted stuff and more into good old random humor. Sexual innuendos are still due to happen, though.

Michael: Of course, you wouldn't be Aki without them.

Aki: -grins-

Kiyo: Ummm...

Aki: OH! I almost forgot! Nam, Angel, Kiyo, this is Stalker-sama, AKA Michael.

Michael: Hi.

The girls: Hi!

Michael: -backs away slowly-

Aki: Oh yeah, right, last time you were hear there was usually a bit more testosterone in the room. Our only other current wielder is now knocked out due to my little sisters.

Michael: -is still scared-

Aki: -sighs- Don't worry girls, he'll get over it by the end of this chapter.

Kiyo: Speaking of this chapter, what's the point of it again?

Aki: Oh, yeah, point of this chapter...-rubs back of neck sheepishly- well, it was to say that Stalker-sama is actually alive, and although he is not a main character anymore, he may randomly show up in a chapter or two if I feel the need for his presense.

Michael: And until then I'll be playing Halo -poofs away-

Angel: Wow, Aki, I think this is your most pointless chapter yet...

Ino: ...And that really is saying something...

Aki: Hey! Do you really want to make a plot out of this, then?

Nam: -smirks- Now you've done it...Aki-sempai's torture is going to begin in 5...4...

Kiyo: 3...2...

Kiyo and Nam: 1!

Aki: KYAAA!! -performs a punch to the air in the general direction of Ino and Angel-

Shika: -now awake- Nothing happened...

Ino and Angel: AHHH!! IT BURNS!!

Aki: -smirks-

Kiyo: Uh, Sis, what did you do to them.

Nam, Kiyo, and Shika: -notice that Ino and Angel's eyes are out of focus-

Aki: -smirks the dreaded "Aki smirk"- I made them see a vision...

Shika: Like a genjutsu?

Aki: In a way, yes, but this you can't break free from. Only my Author Powers will allow their escape.

Kiyo: Do we even want to know what they're seeing?

Aki: Decide for yourself.

Nam: I want to!

Aki: Okay, then! -big grin- It's the dreaded scene of Sasuke biting Karin and her having an orgasm in the latest Naruto chapters!

Shika, Nam, and Kiyo: -horrified gasp-

Shika: That's...I'm mentally scarred for life just thinking about it!

Nam: Wuss, it wasn't _that_ bad.

Kiyo: It's still gross, though.

Aki: True, true. I think that's enough torture for now. -snaps fingers-

Ino and Angel: -break free from trance and are panting heavily-

Angel: Aki! I thought we were friends!

Ino: And I thought you at least respected me enough to never do something so horrible to me!

Aki: In the words of Angel, "you've just sold your soul" by becoming a part of this fic. No one is free from my wrath!

Everyone: -backs away slowly-

Aki: MWUHAHAHAHA!!

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AN: Angel, don't hate me for making you the victim of this chapter. I've been the victim in "Stupid Email" quite a few times. And other people will be victims in future chapters, NO ONE IS SAFE!! Thanks for reading and please review!


	40. More Pointlessness

**AN: Beware, this chapter is worse than last time. But its funny, too, I guess.**

**Disclaimer: dun own nuthin.**

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-In Aki's Room on Creativity-

Aki: -sigh-

Kiyo: Hmm, what's wrong, Sis?

Aki: Well, I started school today!

Angel: I was supposed to start last week but most of my days were cancelled…-big grin-

Aki: -glares-

Nam: That really sucks…

Aki: And even worse, Stalker-sama is off to college, while I am perpetually stuck in this fic as a 15 year old because the Naruto: Shippuden characters are still 15 for the most part!

Kiyo: You mean you don't get older, like in Peter Pan?

Aki: Yep, exactly. Unless I decide to do a future fic, or revolve around another series for a chapter, then I'm stuck.

Angel: Do we atleast age?

Nam: Because staying the same age forever would really suck. I mean, I want to turn 18 and get the hell out of here!

Aki: Yeah, you all age. But the aging thing isn't the main issue: I just started talking to Stalker-sama again and now he's gonna be really busy! Oh well, he said he's looking forward to reading this fic while he's away and crammed with homework. I know he'll be reading, at least.

Kiyo: Well, you got us!

Angel: Yeah, we got a little bit of time before we leave you!

Nam: And even then we'll keep in touch!

Aki: -initiates group hug- Thanks, guys, you're the best.

Naruto: -poofs in- Did I miss something?

Aki: Come here, Naruto, and join in on the friendship group hug!

Naruto: All right! –hugs us with his extreme hyperness-

Lee: -poofs in- My youth senses were tingling!

Aki: All right, Lee, you too…

Lee: -hugs us with the powers of youth-

**-10 Minutes Later-**

Aki: Umm, okay guys, I think this is enough…

Everyone: -backs off of Aki-

Aki: Good.

Angel: So Aki, are you going to tell us about your first day of school?

Nam: Yeah, because I'm sure it was interesting with you there!

Aki: Alright, I guess I will. So, I got in there 20 minutes earlier than I needed cuz there wasn't any traffic getting to school. I couldn't find anyone to talk to! So I dropped my loaded book bag off in my advisor's room, because we would be having a meeting in there first thing, and went back up stairs and said hi to a girl on my club softball team, who's a year younger than me.

Kiyo: Is it KM?

Aki: Yeah, its KM. So I talked to KM for a bit until I saw a girl I had played with on JV my first year at the school: SH!

Nam: It's been a while since you talked to this SH, right?

Aki: Yep! We used to be throwing partners, but then the next year I moved up to Varsity and she was still on JV, so we didn't see each other. And I'm in advanced classes while she's in normal.

Nam: Ah.

Aki: Yep, so we talked, a little awkward cuz its been a while, and then I saw my hyper, Naruto-like buddy KK!!

Angel: KK's the one you had a free period with last year and was in Spanish with you, right?

Aki: Most definitely. And she was in all my other classes except math and art, the genius girl, even though I took the higher math. Anyways, I hugged her and we talked briefly. Then JS, from Varsity softball and a few of my classes from last year came over, I hugged her, and we had a group discussion until KS and SS walked by. I hugged KS and we had a huge group chat. AD walked by, the coolest popular kid ever because she's into art and anime and is student council VP and doesn't try to be popular but you can't help but love her. So KK and I had a group hug with her—

Kiyo: Neechan, you sure like to hug, don't you?

Aki: Yes, yes I do. So anyways, AD left quick, and then it was time for advisee meetings. My advisor's the head of the math department. She was assigned to me on random choice, but I'm glad I got her cuz she's nice and makes jokes about her height (she's rly short). So I left for the room and sat at my usual table with 2 other girls from my year. We heard the usual spiel, met the newbies, got our lockers, and then I had an hour of freedom before class meetings.

Nam: The meetings are in the Cafeteria with all the other students in your year level, right?

Aki: Exactly. We're usually in the Lobby but I'll get on that later. So during that time of free-ness I hung with KSS, my shy friend. We said hi to her advisor, my Chem teacher from last year and this year as well (2 yr course). She's so awesome and makes all these funny analogies for us to get things. So yeah, then KSS and I found KS again, and then LK, our other friend who sat at the lunch table with us last year. We walked around in the very hot school, then sat in KS's advisor's room and said hi to her cool English teacher of an advisor, who was my 1st yr teacher. She's head of the Creative Writing club.

Kiyo: Are you in it?

Aki: No, sad to say not, but I need that time slot where it meets for homework. And I don't wrote well with what they push. My work always feels inadequate.

Kiyo: Don't say that…

Aki: They aren't much for fanfiction, hun. Anyways, so yah, me being random with my 3 friends for an hour an then for class meetings, where in the beginning I would buy my planner and get my pic taken for my ID and for the Yearbook. Then the day was over and I got on here!

Angel: Wow, I think you just bored every single reader of yours to death.

Naruto and Lee: -sleeping in the corner-

Aki: Well, I had no idea what to talk about so I figured I'd talk about my school day!

Kiyo: Well I thought it was nice hearing about all the friends you have!

Aki: Thanks, Kiyo-chan. I don't hang out with most of them outside school, and actually, I had only seen a few people over the summer, like KM and CM, who were both on my softball team (didn't talk to CM really today). And then KS and LK when we were at the funeral for LK's mom, who died from cancer this summer.

Nam: I didn't know that!

Aki: Well I didn't really want to talk about it. It was sad, and I didn't even know her mom that well.

Kiyo: -teary eyed-

Aki: Ok, ok, enough of the depressing stuff.

Angel: Yeah! So did you ever finish your summer reading?

Aki: Yes, I did! I finished my last book, A Tale of Two Cities, yesterday! And I'm on my last math section and will finish it after posting this piece of uselessness with barely any Naruto characters!

Nam: You know, you could always poof someone in…

Aki: -slaps forehead- Duh! Okay then…

Sasuke: -poofs in-

Naruto: OMG ITS SASUKE I MUST MAKE YOU SEE THE LIGHT!!

Light: -poofs in- Did someone call me?

Aki: No, my darling, it was just a pun on your name. Now go back home and write in the Death Note until I can poof out of this universe and become my 25 year old version of myself and act like your wife.

Light: Okay, my darling. –poofs away-

Lee: Who was that most youthful and handsome man?

Aki: My husband of the future/another universe.

Naruto and Sasuke: -stop running-

Sasuke: Who would marry you?

Naruto: I agree with teme on this one.

Aki: -face shadowed by hair-

Kiyo: Now you did it.

Angel: Especially because she's wearing her hair down instead of the usual ponytail, which always spells out trouble.

Aki: -face is revealed into the most scary look you'll ever see in your life-

Nam: Adding on those previous frustrations…you guys should have been running about an hour ago if you have an hope of being safe…

Naruto and Sasuke: AAAHHHH!! –runs faster than the speed of light-

Aki: GET BACK HERE YOU JERKS!! –chases them 10 times faster than the speed of light-

Kiyo: Wow…

Angel: Seriously…

Nam: I know…

Kiyo, Angel, and Nam: Who knew her chapters could get even more pointless and random?!

Light: I sure didn't!

Kiyo, Angel, and Nam: WE THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING IN THE DEATH NOTE?!

Light: -is as cool as ever- Wow, you guys were almost as scary as my "Angel of Death" Aki-chan right there. Oh well. –poofs away-

* * *

**AN: So there's my day, some random chasing, etc etc etc. Don't worry Leafy you'll get in a chapter soon. You needed to be spared from this craptacularness. Ugh I'm seriously lacking in random but still plot-worthy skill as of now, so this random and totally pointless stuff is happening. Better this than nothing, am I right? So please review and maybe give a suggestion for a random plot for next time!**


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